A very good morning to you all. I keep getting up early because I decided not to change my phone, so I’m being frequently surprised by an extra hour, which sneaks up on me like a ninja playing grandmother’s footsteps.
Things are a little quiet. There seem to be two main reasons for this. Firstly I’m very tired, because I stayed up until two in the morning watching the first series of HBO’s superb television series ‘The Wire’. Everything was going fine until the lesbian cop copped (oooh?) a couple of caps (aaah?) in her ass, and then things went somewhat Pete Tong. I’ll let you know how she gets on.
Anyway the point is there didn’t seem much to link ‘The Wire’ to Arsenal aside from its racially diverse squad. That and the smoking, I suppose, though I suspect we’re going to see a bit of a cutdown on the smoking front after Le Gal was busted.
That said the most disappointing thing about the story was not that he was smoking – I mean he’s a balding thirty-two year old Frenchman, of course he’s going to smoke, but that he wasn’t even inhaling. A nerdy social-smoking balding thirty-two year old Frenchman in charge of us. It’s just so undignified. Can’t see Jean Reno allowing that for too long, can you?
Reno: ‘Allo, Guillame, voulez-vous une Galoise?
Le Gal: Ah, non merci, je ne fume pas.
Reno: A, never mind, I ham just ov to speek wiz zat woman, she look good to me rubs thighs
Le Gal: Oh zut, ok, I weel av a smok. Takes cigarette, sucks on it
Reno: Har har har haugh. You moost liitt eeet fierst Guillame.
Le Gal: Sheet.
Nacer Bazarite wants to come back from Derby to fix his knee more quickly. I’m not sure why it will be better down here, but there you go. Perhaps it’s one of those excuses you make up not to be in Derby. Actually that would make a lot of sense – and we’ve all done it. Perhaps that’s what Arsene means when he looks for a ‘footballing brain’. Still, it would be good to have him back, if nothing else because he has the second best name in the squad after Sanchez Watt, who must be the only footballer in the world to have a name with which you could directly question a Mexican.
Theo reckons the team are up for doing the ‘dirty things’ to win this season, starting against the scum tomorrow. Since he’s only nineteen, I sincerely hope he means getting his knees muddy en route to a hat-trick and a trip to a nice film like Wall-E afterwards, and not something dirty like laying a shit in Darren ‘£16m’ Bent’s Burberry sports bag, picking it up and then zipping it over David Bentley’s head whilst he’s having his half-time facial and shaking his head really fast so that when Eh?Boo-him dives into him on sixty minutes he can’t see from the shit in his eyes and he trips hubristically into a SpecSavers advert. I wouldn’t like to see that kind of dirty at all.
Spurs tomorrow.
ED