Up For Grabs Now

Just a super-speedy shifty at what’s going down today:

Bendtner is injured, and could miss the City match. But we could have Cesc back, Theo and Eduardo shouldn’t be far away, and both Robin and Ade (touch wood) will be good to go. Not too big a blow, you’d think?

Cesc feels we can still win the league. I really really like Cesc, in fact I might go so far as to say that I love him. But that’s absolute cobblers.

Adebayor, who scored an outrageous goal against Cameroon (outrageous because before he scored he appeared to give Reading’s gargantuan defender Andre Bikey a sound thrashing,) disagrees with Tony Cascarino (see rant in previous post) and instead wants to stay at Arsenal. Sorry Tony. 

On balance, I reckon that’s probably a good thing. This season hasn’t been his best, but at his age and with his ability, he’s certainly worth hanging onto  as a player who could turn into something very special. Plus, while it’s extremely tempting to fantasise about what you’d do with £30 million and a hole in our strike-force (Villa, Aguero, Benzema, Bent etc), you know in your heart of hearts that if we got that money Wenger would spend £2 million on a 17 year old Austro-Hungarian full-back of Burkinabean extraction, extend Nicky Bendtner’s contract to 2034 and trouser the remaining £28 million.

Financial climate, young team, complete faith in Jay Simpson, etc.

Yet more rumblings and sudden, shifty goings on in The Boardroom. Danny Fiszman has sold about 5% of the club to Stan Kroenke (marvellously photographed here), who now has roughly 20%. Not that sure what to make of it, except that it’s probably a good thing that Usmanov isn’t having things all his own way as he tries to buy the club, and at least our Boardroom doesn’t contain a snarling Suralun Sugar, the man who sold all his shares in Sp*rs in 2007, describing his 16 year involvement with the club as “a waste of my life”.

The Sun, whose (very ugly) sister paper News of the World incensed the Arsenal community yesterday with a story about Cesc which used Barcelona’s rumour-mongering in the Spanish press as evidence for Cesc’s actual unhappiness at Arsenal, pulled out a belter of a headline on the share deal, a headline which achieved that rare fusion of top-notch punnery and bare-faced xenophobia: KROENKE BUYS MEATY STAKE!

Superb, I think we’ll all agree. If only the tabloids could stick to what they do best – idiotic witticism and the harmless libelling of celebrity chefs – rather than feeling the need to dabble in racism, nationalism, war-mongering and the general effort to terrify and intimidate their unfortunate readership into a violent, howling rage of misguided hatred and confusion. Everything would be much more chilled out, wouldn’t it?

Finally, former professional footballer Alex Hleb has been whingeing to anyone who’ll listen about his lack of playing time, being as he is in a competition for places with the best player in the world (’lil Lionel Messi), the guy who used to be the best player in the world (big Thierry Henry), and the guy who keeps Fabregas on the Spanish bench (’lil Andres Iniesta).

UpForGrabsNow would like to extend our condolences to Mr Hleb, adding that he is a complete moron. Honestly, you thought you could rock up in Catalunya and oust those 3 with your pernicious brand of Islington Ubershuffling?

Nonsense, I tell you.

Don’t forget to enter our Herbert Chapman t-shirt competition. According to the Sun newspaper, they are this summer’s “must-have” item and you can get your mitts on one really easily. See www.upforgrabsnow.com/competition for full details.

Internationals weekend and a deathly hush around the Premiership as the press feign interest in England’s game against Slovakia. Just as the Prem was getting good again, too.

One man who is never silent is Tony Cascarino.

Periodically, Mr Cascarino is asked his opinion on all things Premiership by Goal.com, an institution of dubious journalistic credentials which has ballooned into a worryingly popular site, peddling information plagiarised from other sources under the guise of being a credible news-gathering organisation.

Cascarino provides Goal.com with virtually its only original material, and as such his comments are trumpeted loudly enough to occasionally make their way into the mainstream press. Always, Cascarino is said to have spoken “exclusively” to Goal.com as though they have savagely beaten off competition from the New York Times, FourFourTwo and the Sydney Morning Post in gaining the entirely uninformed opinion of a hairdresser turned footballer turned part-time poker player, who  enjoyed the best years of his career at Millwall.

Yesterday he gave his opinion that Adebayor should be sold at the end of the season. Gee, thanks for the input, Tony.

Wenger, who is known to have consulted Chelsea and Russia boss Guus Hiddink over the recent signing of Andrey Arshavin, is sure to heed former Party Poker commentator Cascarino’s advice and offload Ade post haste.

I think you see what I mean. Bog off Cascarino, bog off Goal.com.

A bloke whose opinion I was much more interested in was Senor Fabregas, who did Cesc’s job for him this week with a “pleased that all these huge clubs are interested but I’m staying here thanks very much” sort of assessment.

The press (particularly the Daily Mail, who seem to have a real hatred for all things hooded) were really quick to jump on top of Fabregas’ one-man pitch invasion against Hull as a sign of his impending departure. For me, it was much more indicative of his passion and commitment towards the club.

What is certain is that the summer will be full of stories of Fabregas’ departure. What is most likely is that he will be staying put.

In the short term it will be fantastic to have him back, hopefully for Villarreal. The boys have done really well without him, by and large, with the dreadful run of 0-0 draws made up for by our recent good form and cup success. Fab’s return will be crucial if we’re to win anything, and if we can have him, Eduardo and Theo (Rosicky still seems a bit unrealistic in my opinion) back to their best by the start of May then I wouldn’t bet against us.

In fact, I’ll be betting for us, with Betfair’s wicked free bets (see banner at the top). Let us know how you get on!

Don’t forget to enter the Herbert Chapman t-shirt competition. I wore mine yesterday and a very attractive young lady in Sainsbury’s giggled naughtily at my shirty wit. See www.upforgrabsnow.com/competition for full details.

A break from our usual irrelevance for a more serious message. As a proud Gooner and season ticket holder at Emirates as at Highbury, I was appalled the other day to discover, via an email from the club, that our two climactic Champions League home games – Villarreal and United, should we beat the yellow submariners, are NOT included in the price of my season ticket.

What?

These are season tickets already costing north of £1500, a price that this season has bought us some pretty shoddy home games, and some Arsenal performances you wouldn’t pay for again in a hurry. Yet you sit it out, through thick and thin, because you love the Arsenal, and as it’s turned out, we’re in a position where we’re still challenging for two major trophies.

Whatever the agreement or the contract of the ticket, I cannot believe, particularly in the middle of a recession which has seen all fans feel the pinch, Arsenal FC has the temerity to ask, in my case with four tickets, for close to £600 extra in order to see the most important matches of Arsenal’s season.

It makes no sense. All it creates is badwill, and a whopping surplus on next year’s already pricey ticket.

The season ticket should include ALL home games, I think, though I can see the arguments for excluding the Carling Cup matches (which it does already). Particularly after the year we’ve been having on the pitch, Arsenal should not be punishing season tickets holders for the club doing so well. It amounts to a deeply cynical and unashamedly calculating stealth tax based on the accurate assumption that fans will do anything to go to the last stages of the Champions League. It dodges raising season ticket prices so the club can appear to be fair, but shamelessly profiteers off the supporters’ love of the club at the end of the season. If the alternative has to be an increased season ticket, the club should at least have the honour to be open about it.

I accept that for Arsenal to be competitive the prices have to be reasonably high, and on the whole I don’t mind, but this is ridiculous.

I think it’s a complete robbery. I can’t be the only one who feels this way.

Rant over. Don’t forget to enter the Herbert Chapman t-shirt competition, and also to signup for your free £25 bet at the top.

Also email addresses below, please.

A limited amount to waffle about today, as we hope that people don’t get injured as they run off to play for their respective nations. It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? I think they should just abandon international football altogether except for intense qualifying sessions in odd-numbered summers and then the tournaments themselves. There would be none of this club versus country malarkey, and national matches would become a real event, rather than a sad excuse for taxi drivers and builders to dress up, get drunk and be racist over a pointless and low-quality non-match.

Arsenal is my country: based in North London but comprised of the best from all over the world, and though rooted in an English tradition able to travel anywhere and beat anyone. Surely this is a finer example of a modern British group ethic than you’re ever going to find in Wayne Rooney and chums hacking pointlessly around for an hour and half?

Andrey Arshavin wants to stay forever, he says. Racking up those fans’ favourite points again. Good job Andrey. I’ve realised that every time I write his name I want to write Andre the seal, a bad children’s movie featuring a young Joshua Jackson from Dawson’s Creek. I also want to write Andre the Giant. Since the square-framed Russian is neither a seal nor a giant I’ll try not to, but forgive me if it slips out. He said.

Anyway. Other than a few bits and bobs there’s not much Arsenal news, so instead why not pass a few minutes joining me and Grabs in our New Pursuit; free gambling with Betfair. Simply click on our banner above and follow the links – bet up to £25 and if you lose you get your money back. Pretty good deal, I think you’ll agree. We’re also going to start speculating on humorous things to do with Arsenal. Keep posted.

Also don’t forget to enter the Herbert Chapman t-shirt competition. These t-shirts really are very natty: simply click on www.upforgrabsnow.com/competition for full details.

If you still haven’t done so also remember to sign up to our email list, and you’ll never have to worry about finding the site again…

Quite a change that weekend was, I think we’ll all agree. 3 points clear in 4th, goals from everywhere, and a great sense of momentum. I much prefer this sort of weekend.

Once again the optimism of this blog proved accurate, as we pushed the Geordie bastards aside with a skilful, satisfying flourish, deftly evading the temporary threat provided by Steven Taylor and his gigantic bag of cuntite thuggery. The BBC thought it was the best half of football this season, but then those live text guys always seem a bit annoying, like they’d be the slightly annoying friend of a friend in the pub who you’d tolerate but prefer was absent. The Guardian thought it was boring. I thought it was somewhere in between, which I’m feeling pretty post-revisionist about. Particularly good was Manuel the Spanish waiter goalkeeper’s saving of Martins’ penalty. Nothing better than your keeper saving a penalty, is there? Particularly from Martins, a player whose performance for Inter Milan four years ago lives long and hauntingly in the memory. The length and hauntingness of this memory are slightly lessened by the fact that Martins is now rather shit, except for in Pro Evo where he’s still quicker than God. But still.

Anyway, with Liverpool brushing aside Aston Villa, the bus of whose wheels are falling off at an alarming hilarious rate of knots. I think Martin O’Neill must have a recurring nightmare in which Nigel Reo-Coker is a very simple man with a very simple job who suddenly ends up in a position of great power and kills the world. It’s the Emmanuel Eboue dream (don’t tell me you haven’t had it) to the nth degree, and no wonder O’Neill looks stressed. I still like him though, I must confess, despite my greatly enjoying the flaccid end to Villa’s season, and see him as a potential Arsene replacement one day.

Not that I want Arsene to go anywhere. Just as our faith in him is rewarded, so his faith in his players continues to prove enlightened. Despite his ineptitude in front of goal last weekend, the Great Dane is becoming better by the game, and given he’s only 20 I think we can expect good things from him. Remember the other strikers, reputed to be exciting, he showed off – Stokes and Lupoli both spring to mind – and perhaps we’re beginning to see what Arsene’s known all along.

Arshavin was his usual dynamo self. I think the square-figured Russian is going to become a real favourite. He’s skilful but doesn’t mind getting knocked about a bit (Russia for you), and he runs to the end. Newcastle are in real trouble now, but we’re three points clear, and how nice does that feel, particularly with United in difficulties. This season is really playing havoc with one’s loyalties, isn’t it? First you want Spurs to beat Villa, and then you want Liverpool to beat Villa. I remember in the olden days when Villa were everyone’s second-favourite team…

Anyway, a good weekend for us. A shame about Theo’s injury, but he’ll be back, hopefully alongside a revitalised and refreshed Cesc Fabregas. What a nice thought that is…

A little while until the next game, but in the meantime why don’t you amuse yourselves by entering our new Philosophy Football competition? All you have to do is answer the following question: Which formation did Herbert Chapman pioneer at Arsenal? Send your answers with your name, t-shirt size and address to admin@philosophyfootball.com

I’m wearing mine now, and Grabina says I look very fetching…

Don’t forget as well to sign up to our mailing list below

So it’s Villarreal up next in early April. Crucially the second leg is at the Emirates – that could give us the edge.

Villarreal will be tough opponents, certainly, but if you look across the other teams we could have drawn, you’ve got to be pleased with that one. I always say we play better when given big draws, as our run to the 2006 final bore out, but when it comes down to the draw itself I’m always desperately hoping we avoid the bigger fish.

If we get past Villarreal (and let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves, it will be tough) then we will most probably face Manchester United in the semi-final.

There will be those who will have dreaded such a draw. United are extremely strong, with a mighty squad and a whiff of invincibility. Sure, they lost to Liverpool, but will that result really matter in the final Premier League reckoning?

Better, you might think, for Arsenal not to have to play them at all. Better that if they are to win the European Cup back to back, it should be without having conquered Arsenal along the way. Better for us to be able to pretend we would have beaten them, but never got them in the draw.

You won’t be hearing anything like that from UpForGrabsNow.

I am right now drooling uncontrollably at the prospect of United in the semis (distant as I will try and keep it in my mind). Why?

Because it gives us the chance to be the ones to wreck their season, the season which the pundits have already decided is to end with 5 trophies.

Because it gives us the chance to turn this season – their season – into our season, the season we will always remember as the season when we triumphed over (let’s face it) one of the best English club squads ever assembled when no-one thought we could do it.

Because whatever the hype about them, and however good their players actually are, and however formidable a foe Alex Ferguson will be for Arsene, there is always the fact that WE ARE THE ARSENAL.

There is no team in the world who we cannot meet, beat, and outplay, when we play as well as we can.

Finally, because when we were Invincible, the cheat Wayne Rooney and that sad coward of a referee ended our unbeaten run at Old Trafford and did immense damage to our incredibly talented squad. That defeat cannot be properly avenged without beating United when it really matters, when it really hurts.

We can do that now. We have that chance. And nothing would feel better.

“F*ck off back up north you w*nk*rs!”

‘Nuff respec’.

The quote is from the Daily Heil, who took time out from whingeing hatefully about foreigners in general to whinge hatefully about Cesc Fabregas, attacking him for wearing a hoodie and throwing “tantrums”. Presumably, if he’d stormed onto the pitch wearing a tweed suit and a deerstalker, spitting “I say, Zayatte! We’ve had about enough of your sort round here” they might have had less of an issue.

Let’s clear a couple of things up. Cesc was wearing a pretty nice outfit when he went on his post-match rampage – great jeans, nice jacket, good shoes. Sartorially, we can have no complaints.

Phil Brown said he had no right to appear on the pitch “dressed as he was”. Why not? I mean the game was over (Hull lost, you may remember) and Cesc is the captain of the club, so having an evening stroll on his pitch isn’t exactly taking liberties is it? And this from the man who spent the first half of the season looking like this.

So Cesc might not have been wearing a suit, but he looked like a Premiership footballer. With his matching tie-and-perma-tan combo and Tesco value suit, Phil looks like he works for Comet.

Cesc’s comment about “northern w*nk*rs” (if true) suggests he is extremely well settled at Arsenal and that he cares deeply enough about the club to have become personally committed to its many prejudices, the prejudices we all feel as fans. Not many foreign players settle well enough to trade such idiomatic insults – we’re lucky to have him.

Phil Brown said it didn’t matter whether Cesc spat at Horton’s head or at his feet, it was apparently all the same. Perhaps he also thinks metaphorical spitting (such as telling someone to “f*ck off you northern w*nker) is just as bad.

I expect the whole thing will blow over soon enough.

Until then, how’s about a spot of laurel-resting? We at UpForGrabsNow are pleased to smugly point out just how right we were. Check time of month: mid-March. Check league position: 4th. Still in Champions’ League, still in FA Cup. [Smugly] Aaaaaahh.

That’s some canny predicting right there, and easy to forget how gloomy the mood was when that piece was written. Still, it would be churlish to take all the credit, wouldn’t it? And equally churlish to gesture towards some of the other blogs who spent the first week of March brow beating and loudly making moan over our lost season, while we were scribbling away with nothing but a fixture list and a Positive Mental Attitude. Keep it up, boys.

Ooh, and don’t forget to enter our brand-new Phillosophy Football competition to win a Herbert Chapman t-shirt! Simply send the answer to the following question to admin@philosophyfootball.com, together with your name, address and t-shirt size: What was the formation that Herbert Chapman pioneered while he was at Arsenal? There’s five to be given away, and we’ll be announcing the winners at the end of the month.

Morning all, just a quick one as I’m off to the Emirates Cauldron to watch us put the muscular small timers Blackburn Rovers to the sword. Team selectors? Apart from Eduardo (sniff) we have everyone from the Roma game available, and Andrey’s unineligible again, so we he can start. I think the question is whether or not we go for Nasri in the middle again, or farm him out wide. He was pretty effective at times on Wednesday, but Blackburn are more violently cheating than Roma, though Roma were pretty violently cheaty themselves.

I know there’s been a bit of a hoo-hah about Toure and Gallas but I can’t see any reason why they wouldn’t start together again. Beyond that it probably depends mostly on who’s the most tired. I wouldn’t be surprised if Robin began on the bench, but we’ll see…

For what it’s worth, and that’s not very much, I’d like this starting line up

Almunia

Sagna Toure Gallas Clichy

Walcott Song Arshavin Nasri 

Van Persie Bendtner 

But I somehow don’t think it’ll happen. I suspect room will be made for Denilson and Eboue, somehow, probably at the expense of Nasri/Arshavin/Walcott/Van Persie. 

Anyway. Blackburn won’t be pushovers, but a win today will put us back into fourth, before we’re put in the bumsqugglingly uncomfortable position of choosing between a Spurs victory tomorrow, which would leave us in fourth place, or a Spurs defeat which would plonk them further towards relegation. 

Come on the boys. I will be in the Famous Cock beforehand if anyone wants to demonstrate their fondness for this website through the medium of lager. 

Note that I choose this bar not for its quality but for its proximity to McDonald’s. 

Later, grabbos.

On the face of it, the game was a thriller – end to end stuff from the off, a terrifying penalty shoot-out and some dreadful near-misses.

And, somehow, we are in the Champions’ League Quarter Finals. Onwards and upwards.

Watching it, it was without doubt amongst the most boring Arsenal matches I can remember. It may have been end to end, but by the time it got to the relevant end, the attackers seemed to lose interest and feebly gift possession to the opposition. We carried absolutely no threat, even against a central defence which featured Riise for large periods. Robin was hopelessly isolated up front and whenever the ball reached him he snatched at it, aware that he needed something extraordinary without a supporting team-mate within 40 yards.

We had nothing. They had nothing. Between these nothings emerged a game so bad that poor Grabber almost lost his faith, not just in Arsenal, but in the point of football as a leisure pursuit. It was truely turgid fare – the first half was bad enough, by the time an hour had been played it was rare to see a pass reaching its target and both managers had slumped into their Club class seats in the dugout, sulking visibly and peering out occasionally between their lapels.

Something to get off my chest:

WHAT A STUPID FECKIN GOAL TO CONCEDE, I MEAN REALLY, YOU’VE WORKED YOUR BALLS OFF FOR A 1-0 LEAD AND THEN WITHIN 9 MEASLY SODDING MINUTES THE BALL’S IN OUR NET THANKS TO UNFORGIVABLE DEFENDING. NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

I BLAME GALLAS. AT LEAST TOURE TRIED TO GET TO IT. [that's enough shouting - Ed]

Observations: easy to say this with hindsight but a mistake to go with identical system/personnel to the first leg. Roma were clearly going to approach the game quite differently.

In a midfield which stunk pretty hard, Diaby had an especially smelly game. Roma were bereft of Perotta, De Rossi and (though he featured at the end) Aquilani. We ought to have been able to dominate from midfield as a result but, well, didn’t. I wonder if Song might have added something? Call that an outrageous piece of speculation about a player not much-beloved, but perhaps it would have been his night. It would certainly have freed up Denilson a bit from his defensive job, which was scrappy at best.

Gael and Bacary played OK, I thought, though Gael was mighty lucky not to concede that penalty when he hauled down Motta on half time.

Beyond that, I’d be fascinated to hear your views on the match and on its possible significance for our season. Wenger did his usual thing and built it up (remember his puff about “getting on the train and staying on it” for the triple header with Liverpool last season?) saying that the match would be “definitive”. Definitive of what? Ineffectuality? Or gritty, grinding victories?

We’ve started a new Arse-Poll (top right) to see who our knowledgeable readers believe to be the worst exponent of the Islington Shuffle. For those who might not know, the Islington Shuffle (IS) is the complex tactical ideology employed in recent seasons by Arsenal whereby possession of the ball is maintained in close proximity to the opposition penalty area for long periods of the game through a series of intricate lateral passing movements which amount to nothing. There can be no shooting, crossing or box-busting, surging running for the True Shuffler. Personally I thought tonight Diaby made a very strong case for the accolade of our foremost shuffler with some particularly fruitless shuffling.

Ooh, and don’t forget to enter our brand-new Phillosophy Football competition to win a Herbert Chapman t-shirt! Simply send the answer to the following question to admin@philosophyfootball.com, together with your name, address and t-shirt size: What was the formation that Herbert Chapman pioneered while he was at Arsenal? There’s five to be given away, and we’ll be announcing the winners at the end of the month.

Morning all, and what an exciting morning it is as we face up to AC Roma away in the Champions League. With Chelsea and Liverpool going through last night (Liverpool, I’ll grudgingly admit, in some style) it keeps up the English representation in the competition. I really don’t understand why as a player you’d want to be anywhere but the Premiership at this point, unless you’re really addicted to constant sunshine. Or Tottenham try to buy you. If things carry on in this vein we could be left with an all-English semi-final, and what larks that would be. Although I’d like Barcelona to still be around, as long as they’re the Barcelona that’s starting to crumble rather than the comically imperious Barcelona of earlier this season 

Hopefully we’ll get at them tonight and go for the magic away goal which would all but guarantee our progress, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see Arsene employ a 4-5-1 kind of a set-up, perhaps with one of the strikers playing in the hole. It also remains to be seen whether or not he’ll risk starting Eddie and Theo, or leave them on the bench to wreak havoc later on. I wouldn’t mind seeing Alex Song starting, giving him the chance to capitalise on the form he found on Sunday, but I don’t know if Arsene would back him for such an important game.

My team:

Almunia

Sagna Toure Gallas Clichy

Walcott Song Denilson Nasri

Van Persie  Eduardo

But I wouldn’t be surprised to see Bendtner start because he’s big and awkward, although personally I’m not sure this is as important in this context as being good at football, given that it’s, you know, a football match. We’ll see.

Anyway, with Roma lacking lots of their best players, and in intermittent form, I’m very optimistic about our chances tonight. The Champions League brings out the best in us, and we’re in good nick at the moment anyway.

In the meantime, don’t forget to enter our brand-new Phillosophy Football competition to win a Herbert Chapman t-shirt! Simply send the answer to the following question to admin@philosophyfootball.com, together with your name, address and t-shirt size: What was the formation that Herbert Chapman pioneered while he was at Arsenal? There’s five to be given away, and we’ll be announcing the winners at the end of the month.

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