Arsene Wenger has today sanctioned a deal to bring leggy diva Beyonce Knowles to the Emirates next season. It is believed Wenger moved for Knowles after leggy diva Emmanuel Adebayor revealed to a bewildered English press that it was the lure of Beyonce which had made him seriously consider joining Milan last summer.
Knowles: Finally a long-term successor to Ray Parlour
‘Le Prof’ is known to consult players over signings, however the arrival of Knowles remains something of a surprise since she has no experience of top-flight football and had been enjoying a flourishing solo career. Her record company Columbia Records are said to be phlegmatic about the loss of Knowles, and they have high hopes for her replacement, Phillipe Senderos, who was included in the undisclosed deal at the last minute.
In an EXCLUSIVE interview with Arsenal TVOnline, Senderos thanked Gunners fans for their support throughout his time at the club, but admitted that the chance to become a major recording artist was too good to turn down.
[That's enough claptrap - Ed]
So a fun weekend, a weekend of Cescy goals, a lead over Villa expanding faster than Simon Cowell’s cup-size, Tottenham once again humiliating themselves in the public eye and United having heinous decision after heinous decision go in their favour. First the penalty, then Giggs. Tragic. It’s enough to make you poke your eyes out with your housekeys then jump out the window.
Hopefully, United will now regard themselves as unbeatable and will be brought crashing down from their hubristic height by the irresistible Islington Shuffle when it smashes into The Theatre of Dreams (no hubris there then, nope, none) in its polite, non-aggressive, why-not-square-it-again way on Wednesday.
Nah, I hope Ronaldo and Rooney both miss penalties and are mercilessly goaded by Eboue and a suddenly vindictive Abou Diaby (in the timeless manner of Keown - God I love Keown), and then Alex Song scores a second-half hatrick to place the tie out of their reach. No club deserves a good kicking like United do now, the nobbers.
Infuriating United Fact: Between 1993 and 2003 United conceded a massive FIVE penalties at Old Trafford in the Premiership. Right. So away penalties are biennial in Manchester, then? A bit like the African Cup of Nations.
The chat is that Nasri might play defensive midfield, freeing up Cesc to wreak all kinds of chaos. I’d be surprised if this happens, firstly because Rob’s injury sort of means Nasri has to play on the left (Diaby, anyone?) and also because I think we’ll start with Song and Denilson in defensive midfield, which would still give Cesc a bit of freedom to roam.
What do you think? Who’d you start with?
Tags: Beyonce Knowles, Cesc Fabregas, Emmanuel Adebayor, Manchester United, Phillipe Senderos, Roamin in the Gloamin
April 27th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Almunia
Sagna Toure Djourou Gibbs
Diaby Song
Walcott Cesc Nasri
Ade
CMON YOU GUNNERS
April 28th, 2009 at 11:03 am
Grabs/Grabber – do you think there is anyone on the Newcastle books who would look good in our squad? Bearing in mind they would have to conduct a firesale of their assets if they were to go down.
April 28th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Guitierrez looks a good two footed winger. Can also play wing back but with the players we have not really needed. Bassong is most Arsenal like player; quick, mobile and reads the game well.
Ryan Taylor, Duff and Viduka would make any strong Premier League side although the latter two, were it not for their injury problems and age would have more clubs vying for their signature.
April 28th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
hmm, interesting thought. would have been nice to get N’Zogbia as a utility player. Of what remains, I’d agree that Bassong looks the best bet. Steve Taylor would be pretty unWengerish but could do a John Terry and become good as he matures (unlikely though).
It would probably be worthwhile picking up Obafemi Martins, but I can’t see that happening as we’ve loads of young strikers and Arsene won’t want another body between Bendtner, Vela etc and the first team.
April 28th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
Almunia
Sagna Toure Djourou Gibbs
Walcott Cesc Song Nasri
Diaby
Adebayor