Up For Grabs Now

Much in the tradition of my contributions, this week I refuse to degrade myself to the level of other commentators by seeing how long I can make hilarious leaving puns about Emmanuel Adebayor: ‘AdeBYEBYEor’, ‘Adebay-OFF’. ADEBAYOFF HAHA YEAH SEE! I shall instead ask you more intelligent readers a different question:

Why are Manchester City assembling the laziest team in the history of football?

It must be difficult having unlimited money. Forced to labour under the impression that winning things will somehow now be very easy, and happen irrespective of having an aggressive Welsh wanker managing your club, as an owner or chairman you are forced to set yourself little games to amuse yourself. Different people do different things. Roman Abramovich got around this problem by firing one of the world’s best managers, hugely respected by his team, and replacing him with an unqualified Uncle Festa lookalike, and then a succession of other unsuitable foreigners after he proved to be surprisingly good. Manchester City’s chairman is approaching the issue differently, instead choosing to purchase a wide and exciting range of the world’s laziest footballers. Clearly he was inspired by the sight of Craig Bellamy and Robinho sitting in a chair for training (or something), and decided that if he bought a whole team like that it would make the Premiership a bit more interesting.

This is the only way to explain the otherwise ludicrous amount of money he has spent luring the gangly, bone-idle Togolese cash hole up to Eastlands. As an Arsenal fan I cheer, but as a fan of football I weep tears of hysterical laughter mingled with great sadness. Never in the field of human football has so much been paid by so few for so little. Oh well. Hopefully he can continue to score against Spurs, and we can continue to laugh at them. Other than that there is little hope, given that his previous record suggests he operates a system whereby the number of goals he scores per season is inversely proportional to his salary.  £40,000 – 30 goals. £80,000 – 15 goals. £150,000 – seven goals if they’re lucky.

More fool them I say. 

Tags: Arsenal, Arsene Wenger, Emmanuel Adebayor, manchester city

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