Since there is literally nothing going on of any relevance to the Arsenal this day feels a bit like doing a jig in treacle. Except for the internationals, which are relevant to us only in the way that it’s relevant that your female friends go on a sex tourism holiday somewhere – ie, you hope they don’t get raped by a local or trip on a rusty chlamydia-nail, but other than that you’d rather they came back quickly and didn’t talk too much about it.
Or alternatively, if they insist on talking about it, that it involves a hideous drug dealer they met called Ashley Cole whom they brutally maimed with a cheese fork before stealing his wallet, only to give him back a whole load of money to confuse him and then orchestrate a massive economic crisis and hyperinflation in the country of the currency you gave him so that during his recuperation his money becomes worth less and less whilst he is unable to move due to his mangling, then just as he regains the ability to walk his money becomes valuable again, so he skips triumphantly into the road where he is hit by a van carrying horse sperm, the impact of which shatters his already fragile legs before he drowns in the sperm.
So there’s not much going on basically.
However, for the blog we have several large pieces of news. Firstly we have, after almost a year of operation, been added by the mighty arseblog to his blogroll. Now to those of you in the outside world this might seem rather a sad thing to celebrate, but for us young blogs, rolling around in the pigsty of the internet hoping some of the poo will stick to us, it is excellent news. Anyone who finds us from there, welcome, and many thanks to arseblog. We feel like we’ve arrived.
We have also been added to newsnow, meaning that we have been accepted as a respectable and serious source of Arsenal news, and not a collection of underqualified morons specialising in baiting other, more angrily earnest blogs (see the past). We welcome further anyone who has joined us from here, and apologise in advance for offending you with tales of Islington Shuffle and other tittle-tattle.
Ho hum. Goodness it’s slow. Anyone been anywhere nice on holiday? Don’t forget you can guarantee you always receive our high-quality posts by signing up below to the mailing list.
Tags: arseblog, Arsenal, ashley cole, horrible death
September 9th, 2009 at 11:49 am
Welcome to the cut-throat world of blogging.
Let me be the first (of many) to say, “YOUR BLOG IS SHIT! FUCK YOU!”
September 9th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Thanks DJ. It means a lot to us.
September 9th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
you’re a cunt! if you write cuntish posts like this then expect backlash. you are wasting our time you piece of shit. keep this up and you’ll get filtered on newsnow like countless other cunts who are just whoring for hits.
September 9th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
This is an absolute liberty. I’m shocked at your front
September 9th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
How funny
September 9th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Well that was a very, very quick stream of abuse. Long may it last. It’s like the old days.
September 9th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
I love Up For Grabs Now, always brings a smile. Keep up the good work – if only to waste the precious time of ‘arse’.
Speaking of whom, ‘arse’ @ 12.33pm – on the contrary dear thing, you’re a cunt.
September 9th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
@LimparAssist
Thank you. We aim to bring a smile. Or if not a smile then at least some blind and unintelligible rage.
As will be clear to anyone who has noticed that we only post under great provocation, whoring for hits is far from our minds. We whore only for responses, amusement, teasing le Grove, sexual favours and cocaine. Never for hits.
September 9th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Bro, u r a doosh… Le grove is way better than this shite…
Thawt it was funny till u bagged the grovers… tut tut
September 9th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
@luxford
We have never denied the supremacy of Le Grove. We never would.
Had I a clearer idea of what a ‘doosh’ was, I would be in a better position to deny it.
September 9th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Hmmm … I can’t help but be slightly disappointed that UFGN is on News now. It seems sullied somehow. ‘Course I check News now too, but this site is kind of like erotica to News now’s porn. The Denilson to its David Hillier.
We’ll have to see how this pans out.
September 9th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
I agree James, it was all Grabber’s idea, whore that he is. First he didn’t want us to sign Arshavin, then he scandalously refused to profile Abou Diaby in the season preview, and now he’s made us join NewsNow.
Honestly, it’s all I can do to keep this site sane and afloat.
September 16th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
I’m not sure if LimparAssist is my worthy fellow-scribe, but either way I entirely concur with his sentiments. Even though I’ve discovered it late, this is a freeeekin’ great blog.
Keep up the good work.