Seismic news today, as my favourite player Emmanuel Eboue announces his intention to become a Hollywood comedian once his playing days are over.
What’s that Grabber? You think he’s already a complete joke? Now, now, that’s unfair – though he’s certainly been a great actor for some time. Just ask Patrice Evra.
The news has been made yet more exciting by Eboue making it clear that he wants to be “The next Eddie Murphy”. It’s easy to laugh at this – it sounds totally implausible - but this is the man who last season became a regular starter in the Arsenal midfield.
And they said it was impossible when he played centre-mid against Fulham away and we got humped. They said that Eboue’s career as a midfielder would come to nothing.
It all adds to the impression that Emmanuel Eboue is the most determined man in the world.
He’s a poster-boy for the fantasy of globalised capitalism. Like Will Smith in The Pursuit of Happiness, Emmanuel Eboue lives, breathes and embodies the American dream. He might only be our second-choice right-back, but to the questionably-talented millions, Emmanuel Eboue shines brightly as a beacon of hope.
Personally, I’m just hoping Eboue is true to his word and emulates Eddie Murphy as closely as possible. I’ll be the first on Amazon’s pre-order list when the Beverly Hills Eboue series is released.
The man knows no limits. How long before he wins an Oscar? And how long, more importantly, before we finally get to see him deployed as a lone striker?
Tags: Academy Award, Beverly Hills Eboue, Eddie Murphy, Emmanuel Eboue
November 18th, 2009 at 12:21 am
It all stems from his desire to make people happy, by dancing. I wonder if Hollywood offer him a role, he will stop and focus on improving his footballing abilities rather than learning another dance move. Another rumour goes that Denilson is quite a mover as well, so good, it featured on Soccer AM. Yeah, quite the indication.
November 18th, 2009 at 1:34 am
Another mean-spirited article by an arsenal fan about one of his own players. Good stuff.
November 18th, 2009 at 3:53 am
Eboue for President!!
November 18th, 2009 at 5:49 am
its a good idear,i will just say he should keep it up if he found himself in that position…………even although NIGERIANS used to call him LUKULUKU Before cos of hes look,and lukuluku in nigeria is a name of one comedian here………………..
November 18th, 2009 at 9:01 am
Good stuff, Davi, another humourless comment-leaver.
November 18th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
What with all the disparaging articles about our own player?
I am increasingly bemused by this blog’s insistence on publishing
articles mocking or with outright derogatory remarks about one os some of our players. I am offended by this and i am sure many readers find them disturbing. I know there is a desire to appear funny by many Britts but please try not to have fun at
our player’s expense.
November 18th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Eboue is my favourite player. Hands down. But come on, he’s pretty funny.
November 19th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Another top read grabber! I wonder if he’ll be taking his tiger costume with him for extra laughs? Such a shame there seems to be a sense of humour loss among all your readers? The word satire does not appear in their dictionaries perhaps?
November 19th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
Fishmeister, perhaps they would rather read more imaginative tales such as Cesc to Barcelona or another false report of an injury to our players.
November 29th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Aaaaargh!
December 8th, 2009 at 5:07 am
Your blog is great- really the cleverest of them all- but if you’re not going to post why not just take it down? I mean, get in or get out if you know what I mean.
December 28th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
Indeed, as Graham says it’s all sadly dormant around here, which is a great shame. Fancy closing it down and joining the Gingers for Limpar crew instead?
Genuine offer, like. I think you’d fit right in.
Get in touch if it’s worth mulling over. julian dot harris AT liberal-vision dot org