Joe Cole, oh. Oh, Joe Cole.
Joe Cole – you looked reasonably lively.
Joe Cole – you were sent off for a tackle
That was suspicious, described as
‘Uncharacteristic’ by many.
Like the suicide of Dr David Kelly.
Unlike him, Joe Cole, you were going to sign for us,
But instead you went northwest: home of signers-on.
But not coal.
That, as everyone knows, is from Newcastle.
Which is why you should never take coal there.
It is futile.
Much like trying to persuade Arsene Wenger that,
Manuel Almunia is not a goalkeeper of sufficient calibre
To start games for a team with title ambitions.
We hoped for a reign of terror
But all we got was a Reina error
And one-one, and no-one won
It will do, for now
But soon we will need more than homophones.
August 17th, 2010 at 4:15 pm
Ahahahahaha. We’re not worthy, we’re not worthy… [repeat ad infinitum]
One criticism – surely the bit about futility and Wenger’s views on Almunia is the wrong way around, no? Or are you suggesting that Wenger does *not* think that Almunia is good enough? Or is this an example of poetic licence?
August 17th, 2010 at 4:18 pm
You’re right, of course.
An honest typo. Amended.
August 17th, 2010 at 4:22 pm
What about this haiku from Wenger?
Goalkeeper doesn’t matter.
Defence doesn’t matter.
Captain doesn’t matter.
What matters is pass.
And move.
August 17th, 2010 at 4:35 pm
Jekyll – your deployment of enjambement is bordering on the genius.
Grabber – I hope the “not” doesn’t ruin the cadence.
August 17th, 2010 at 4:47 pm
The Arsenal defence could do with a little ‘enjambement’ could it not?
August 17th, 2010 at 4:49 pm
Oh how half time does fly,
Under the Emirates blue sky,
Prawn sandwiches no longer a must,
When poetry is being discussed
Come on guys, haikus, enjambement, whatever happened to We hate Tottenham, and we hate Tottenham, etc etc?? No wonder we have a certain reputation among other fans…
August 17th, 2010 at 5:11 pm
What do you think of Tottenham?
Shit
What do you think of
Shit
Tottenham, thank you.
It’s alright (…)
We hate Tottenham,
and
we hate tottenham.
We hate Tottenham,
and
we hate tottenham.
We are
(indeed)
Tottenham-haters.
August 17th, 2010 at 8:42 pm
Thanks, Grabber, that’s more like it. If you’d like to add anything about the profession of their manager’s family members, that would be a bonus.
August 18th, 2010 at 12:01 pm
While they’re renaming parts of the stadium to increase Arsenalisation, such as the North Bank, Clock End, Merson Bar, etc, perhaps in respect of the interest which your posts have raised the ground should have a Poets’ Corner (or maybe even a Pseuds’ Corner). Keep up the good work!