Up For Grabs Now

A not-so-instant response to this one, and for that I apologise, but it was a busy busy afternoon.

Arsenal vs Bolton Wanderers, 10 January 2009 will go down in history as the first time, since the creation of this blog, that Grabs and myself attended a home game a deux. Some of you have speculated that we’re the same person, others that we’re more than just good friends, but without going into too much detail it’s important for you to know that we are, and always well be, Arsenal fans first.

It was far from a thrilling game, I think we can all agree, and the relief on my face (cherubic, no less) after the whistle blew was only slightly qualified by the loss of my wager on Arsenal to win 3-1 with Nasri to score first. What was I thinking? Who can tell?

That we somewhat lacked for penetration was no surprise, given that Megson’s Merry Morons arrived and from the get-go only wanted to park ten men in front of the ball. The first half was mostly an example of the traditional game of ‘box-dodging’, otherwise known as the ‘Islington Shuffle’ whereby ten of the world’s best outfield football players, and Manuel the Spanish waiter goalkeeper attempt to pass the ball to each other for as long as possible without ever letting it drift into the opposition’s penalty area.

Arsenal are one of the finest exponents of this ancient art, and during the 45 minutes in question they moved the ball around very effectively, despite many challenges from Bolton players and the duplicitous touchline urgings of their assistant manager Patrick Rice. There was one unfortunate incident when Robin van Persie got in the way of Samir Nasri’s valiant attempt to kick the ball out of play, and in his panic deftly collected it before realising his error and blazing it over the bar, thus minimising the penalty points incurred, but other than that the Shufflers had much to be proud of.

In the second half, Manager Arsene Wenger had a word with the team and reminded them that during the second half they were obliged not to play Islington Shuffle any longer, and instead encouraged them not only to move the ball inside the opposition area but then to try and kick it into the conveniently positioned net. They left it a while, but eventually a tall Danish man arrived to toe-poke the game’s only goal, and though we did our best to give Bolton a great chance immediately afterwards they were too incompetent to take it, and instead we had to take the three points.

From our perspective the match was not without further incident. We visited the Armoury beforehand, with its fine range of merchandise. Finest of this range was, undoubtedly, the fragrance and deodorant ‘Arsenal’. ‘Arsenal’ was advertised by a moody picture of Alex Song clutching a bottle of the aforementioned scent whilst topless, with a pair of provocatively cannon-labelled white briefs poking suggestively from his low-slung jeans. One can only imagine the paroxysms of lust this has sent the womenfolk of North London into:

‘Darling, what’s that you smell of?’

‘Arsenal’

‘But my, you smell so incompetent…yet oddly irresistible’

‘Yes. I know. The fragrance is worn by Alex Song. He wears it when he meets Arsene.’

‘Tackle me, right now’

‘My darling, I’m afraid I’m a little out of position.’

‘You’re still irresistible.’

‘It’s a burden I’ll bear’.

Anyway, we also bore the burden of a couple of absolute idiots sitting behind us. Sample conversation (after Denilson mishit an outrageously ambitious volley of a looping ball outside the box):

Note, for full enjoyment of this imagine for a minute the voice of a young, screechier Barbara Windsor. Amy Winehouse, perhaps, only without the tonal nuance.

‘Deniiwwsan yoar such a shi brazilian. Why int you as good as Kaka?’

There was much more where this came from. It was unfair that they were so irritating, as the blokes in front of us didn’t seem bothered by our own conversation, particularly with regards to Bendtner:

Grabber: ‘Bendtner why are you so shit?’

Bendtner scores, crowd goes wild.

Grabber: ‘I knew it, he always had my full backing. I think he’s a wonderful footballer’

Grabs: ‘You’re a moron’.

Anyway that’s all twaddle. The real lessons from the game were:

1)    It’s great playing with an actual central defender. As Grabs’ correctly pointed out before I’d even so much as sat down, it’s Djourou who does all the talking at the back, just as Campbell used always to tell Kolo what to do (regardless of Kolo’s temporary captaincy). He also makes us about a billion times stronger in the air and defending set-pieces. You’ve got to wonder if part of the problem when Gallas and Toure play together is that Toure doesn’t think Gallas has any idea of what to say. Gallas, through his career, has almost always played best alongside strong and vocal defenders. One to think about.

2)    Nasri looks a very promising creative substitute for Cesc. He’s not quite the finished product – I for one think he should be a bit more direct, but he has more energy and vision than anyone else on our park at the minute, and clearly relishes in being the one making things happen in the middle. This must be a Good Thing.

3)    Vela sort of ditto. He should be getting way more time on the pitch. As soon as he came on we looked much more dangerous – he runs at people, he wants to get in the box, and he can make the awkward transition from ‘Islington Shuffle’ to ‘football’ better than most of the rest of our team.

4)    Diaby’s getting better, fingers crossed it carries on.

Other than that I think we can be happy with the win. Not our most beautiful game, but Bolton have given us problems in the past (although they looked pretty dire at times today), and we’re notching up a nice little run of unbeaten games. If we can bring in some creativity, and Diaby/Denilson show they can work against the better teams, then we’re certainly getting there as a team.

Arsene knows, remember – and just think how much more of a threat we’d pose were Walcott, Cesc and Rosicky fit…

Nobody could have banked on those injuries so specifically to our most incisive players, and even so we’re really not far off the mark. An Arshavin here or there might make all the difference.

My, what a long blog. Have a good Sunday.

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Well that was a bit boring wasn’t it?

1-0, but we’ll take those points very gratefully, thank you. It wasn’t pretty to watch. We seemed to celebrate TA6’s return to the Emirates by agreeing not to threaten the Portsmouth goal at all, and occasionally gifting them the odd half chance.

The first half, particularly, was stultefyingly dull – aside from Crouch hitting the post and Adebayor managing not to score after rounding James there was nothing to talk about, except how useless Ade and Bendtner were together. We had lots of the ball, and seemed more comfortable at the back than recently, but seemed equally unable to do anything about it after that.

In the second half we were a bit brighter, after Nasri moved inside and pushed the Great Dane out wide, first on the left and then on the right after Carl came on, and Adebayor ought to have scored again when given about twenty minutes on the edge of the six yard box.

Still, they defended neatly (Campbell in particular looking like a player who’d get a game at the Emirates), and we were rarely threatened at our end, and there can’t be too many unhappy with the scoreline, none more so than LeGal, who came up with another of his timely headers to provide the only goal (from a very useful Denilson cross – perhaps he should do more set pieces…). Good for him, and good for the team too to have a reconfident LeGal.

When I got home Phil Thompson was wittering away about us buying a striker in January after Wenger seemed to thaw slightly on the transfer issue. It’s clearly not in his interests to announce he’s definitely looking to buy, but at the same time he admitted we look ‘a bit thin’. Watch this space, I say. But a striker? Hmm. I don’t think so. There was forlorn chanting for Robin van Persie during the second half, but I think that was more out of frustration with Bendtner than anything else (who was rubbish, and who can’t play with Ade at all). With a fit Eduardo (and Theo and Carl as backup options) I don’t see any need for any more strikers.

 No, like the proverbial 24 year old virgin, what we need is a bit of penetration. Not from strikers, but from people unafraid (and competent enough) to get past the man. Against lesser teams it’s less obvious, but Portsmouth were well-organised enough to show us up when we were passing around each other. Nasri was prepared to have a go, and Diaby too in his defence, and so was Carl when he came on. Cesc can do it with passing and movement, and Theo can do it with runs, but it’s where Denilson, Song and Eboue, not to mention Bentdner and Ade, look a bit vulnerable.

 More tomorrow, but I’m happy with the result. We haven’t lost for a while now, and that can only be good…

Arsenal 1 Dynamo Kiev 0

Well thank heavens for that. One nil to the Arsenal, and have you ever been more relieved to hear those words? Unconvincing, certainly, and I suspect there were a few hearts in mouths during the second half. With Porto winning we’ve cemented our position in the last sixteen of the Champions League, and also secured ourselves a semi-dead rubber in Portugal.

Thoughts?

Positives: The win. Cesc’s first match as captain a victory, and a strong performance from him. Gallas getting his head down and doing a job, though he looked shaky at times. Almunia’s save in the second half. Vela’s brightness in the first half, a bit of breathing space before business resumes in earnest on Sunday. Young Jack Wilshere looking as promising as usual. Comedy opposition sending off – ‘headless chicken kiev’?

Negatives: The shakiness we’ve seen in recent games, particularly in the back half of midfield and defence, was still there. Chelsea, not to mention the other big European teams, will hardly be quaking in their boots at the thought of playing our team. Still, we’ve got players to come back, and morale will pick up. Denilson is not a winger.

So. Things to correct. A good night for the Arsenal. What do you reckon?