Seismic news today, as my favourite player Emmanuel Eboue announces his intention to become a Hollywood comedian once his playing days are over.
What’s that Grabber? You think he’s already a complete joke? Now, now, that’s unfair – though he’s certainly been a great actor for some time. Just ask Patrice Evra.
The news has been made yet more exciting by Eboue making it clear that he wants to be “The next Eddie Murphy”. It’s easy to laugh at this – it sounds totally implausible - but this is the man who last season became a regular starter in the Arsenal midfield.
And they said it was impossible when he played centre-mid against Fulham away and we got humped. They said that Eboue’s career as a midfielder would come to nothing.
It all adds to the impression that Emmanuel Eboue is the most determined man in the world.
He’s a poster-boy for the fantasy of globalised capitalism. Like Will Smith in The Pursuit of Happiness, Emmanuel Eboue lives, breathes and embodies the American dream. He might only be our second-choice right-back, but to the questionably-talented millions, Emmanuel Eboue shines brightly as a beacon of hope.
Personally, I’m just hoping Eboue is true to his word and emulates Eddie Murphy as closely as possible. I’ll be the first on Amazon’s pre-order list when the Beverly Hills Eboue series is released.
The man knows no limits. How long before he wins an Oscar? And how long, more importantly, before we finally get to see him deployed as a lone striker?
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