Up For Grabs Now

“F*ck off back up north you w*nk*rs!”

‘Nuff respec’.

The quote is from the Daily Heil, who took time out from whingeing hatefully about foreigners in general to whinge hatefully about Cesc Fabregas, attacking him for wearing a hoodie and throwing “tantrums”. Presumably, if he’d stormed onto the pitch wearing a tweed suit and a deerstalker, spitting “I say, Zayatte! We’ve had about enough of your sort round here” they might have had less of an issue.

Let’s clear a couple of things up. Cesc was wearing a pretty nice outfit when he went on his post-match rampage – great jeans, nice jacket, good shoes. Sartorially, we can have no complaints.

Phil Brown said he had no right to appear on the pitch “dressed as he was”. Why not? I mean the game was over (Hull lost, you may remember) and Cesc is the captain of the club, so having an evening stroll on his pitch isn’t exactly taking liberties is it? And this from the man who spent the first half of the season looking like this.

So Cesc might not have been wearing a suit, but he looked like a Premiership footballer. With his matching tie-and-perma-tan combo and Tesco value suit, Phil looks like he works for Comet.

Cesc’s comment about “northern w*nk*rs” (if true) suggests he is extremely well settled at Arsenal and that he cares deeply enough about the club to have become personally committed to its many prejudices, the prejudices we all feel as fans. Not many foreign players settle well enough to trade such idiomatic insults – we’re lucky to have him.

Phil Brown said it didn’t matter whether Cesc spat at Horton’s head or at his feet, it was apparently all the same. Perhaps he also thinks metaphorical spitting (such as telling someone to “f*ck off you northern w*nker) is just as bad.

I expect the whole thing will blow over soon enough.

Until then, how’s about a spot of laurel-resting? We at UpForGrabsNow are pleased to smugly point out just how right we were. Check time of month: mid-March. Check league position: 4th. Still in Champions’ League, still in FA Cup. [Smugly] Aaaaaahh.

That’s some canny predicting right there, and easy to forget how gloomy the mood was when that piece was written. Still, it would be churlish to take all the credit, wouldn’t it? And equally churlish to gesture towards some of the other blogs who spent the first week of March brow beating and loudly making moan over our lost season, while we were scribbling away with nothing but a fixture list and a Positive Mental Attitude. Keep it up, boys.

Ooh, and don’t forget to enter our brand-new Phillosophy Football competition to win a Herbert Chapman t-shirt! Simply send the answer to the following question to admin@philosophyfootball.com, together with your name, address and t-shirt size: What was the formation that Herbert Chapman pioneered while he was at Arsenal? There’s five to be given away, and we’ll be announcing the winners at the end of the month.

Happy the day after the no blog day. Sorry about that, all. Myself and grabs both found ourselves inconvenienced around the UK yesterday. We hope you didn’t find it too traumatic an experience.

Also Happy New Year to you all, on the off chance that there is anybody reading this and not swimming in afterbeer, I salute you, and apologise for the random and gossipy nature of all things Arsenal.

However, since this blog was established to bring you the finest in eloquent Arsenal twaddle on a daily basis, it would be rude not to say something.

The feeling for Arsenal fans today, as all chaotic hell begins to unleash, is something like being on a small Caribbean island with no boat as a hurricane slowly approaches. For the time being it’s quite calm and pleasant, and there’s a miniature umbrella in your drink, but the winds and rain are starting.

Only in this case the winds and the rain are transfer stories and wild speculation about the future of Arsenal players.

The big news is that Kolo Toure has apparently had a transfer request turned down by the board. A very strange story given what we know of Kolo, but perhaps not surprising. He must feel a bit like he’s lost his mojo at Arsenal, and centre backs are such funny players – rock solid one minute and then not the next.

You can see why we wouldn’t want him to leave, but at the same time how many players that you know want out can you afford to have on your side at any moment? Mind you we super-really can’t afford to have Toure and Gallas go at the same time, so perhaps the refusal is holding out to see if Gallas goes. If he doesn’t then maybe the board will feel better about letting Kolo follow his heart.

Other than that it’s the usual codswallop about people coming and going, none of which I’m prepared to take too seriously. The newspapers have begun doing their thing where they put little boxes for every club talking about who needs to be bought and sold.

None of them say anything interesting, although I wonder if the fact that every newspaper is now linking us with Arteta is anything to do with Arseblogger’s championing of him the other day.  Journalists are not a hard-working bunch, as a rule, and around Christmas time they are particularly lazy (does it frustrate anyone else how crap newspapers are around this time?), so it wouldn’t surprise me at all.

I for one am still hoping we buy a wide player as well as a central player (and possibly now a defender too). But not Arshavin. Too expensive, and too bad.

The other funny thing is how they all claim Manchester City have unlimited money to spend, which just isn’t true. No matter how much oil they might have, these guys are not going to simply chuck unlimited cash at the team, particularly not at Mark Hughes. They’ll buy some players, certainly, but I’m not sure it’ll be as wild as everyone seems to think. The price of oil has fallen dramatically of late, too, and everyone’s feeling a bit more careful about that sort of thing.

The other story is that Wenger will go to Madrid. Not a chance in France, if you ask me, which is somewhat ironic because one of the few other jobs Arsene might take is the France national team. He’d hate the lack of control at Real – he can do whatever he wants at Arsenal, even if sometimes it seems like it’s not what the fans want. But it’s a good scare story.

Have a good day off. 

A very good morning to you, and a very merry Christmas.

Yes sir, unlike some other (arguably lesser) Arsenal blogs we at Up For Grabs Now think that you deserve your slice of all things Arsenal 365 days a year, even if that means sacrificing a bit of my own valuable arguing with my relatives time – time I hold very dear indeed.

I hope you all get the presents you wanted. It feels to me that if Arsenal were a child, it must have been particularly bad this year to deserve what has been dumped on it by the world. Perhaps it killed another child. And then ate it. Or even worse some sort of religious figure. Maybe it punched a priest. Maybe that’s What Arsene Did Last Summer. 

Because just as it seemed things couldn’t get any worse, Cesc went and got out for four months. It was almost as if God wanted to remind us that there  always something worse than the current situation - a trick referred to in theological circles as the ‘Tottenham Fan Hypothesis’.

On the plus side it seems he won’t need an operation, which I suppose is better than needing an operation. The last person we heard of needing an operation was Tom Rosickly, and I need hardly tell you how poorly that’s gone for his presence in the team.

Talk abounds about what we should do next. Lots are saying Arsene will buy two new players in the interim, but I don’t think he will, necessarily.

The problem with no Cesc is not actually in finding a Cesc replacement, which is pretty much impossible, but in the creative strain it puts on our already-depleted wide areas. Getting Theo back will solve some of these, but we’ve already got lots of players who want to be central midfielders: Nasri came inside for the last bit against Liverpool and looked pretty convincing there for my money. Song and Denilson would probably like to be central too, as would a fit Rosicky.

But presuming that Arsene wants to stick with the Song/Denilson as holding players model, and I’m with Grabs in thinking that there’s nothing to suggest either of them couldn’t yet blossom into the Flamini figure we’d like them to, then the real midfield issue is a wide one, which feeds back in to the Arshavin Allusion of yesterday. Other than that I have to say I don’t feel I have much to add to the transfer suggestion pot. Some people on Le Grumble were talking about Cana, who I looked at on youtube and found pretty amusing, but that might be because I like the idea of having an Albanian enforcer. I suspect, as ever, that the boss has some chaps up his sleeve.

In other news Homer is off to West Brom for a bit. Good luck to him, I say, and get ready to come back in a hurry if Bentdner pisses off as he’s threatening to, to go and play first team football somewhere where they don’t mind having a twat-booted never-scoring striker, as opposed to at Arsenal where they only mind some of the time.

Right, I’m off to eat some turkey and bread sauce before arguing with everybody all afternoon and then losing at racing demon. 

Here’s to hoping some of the spirit of Christmas rubs off on everyone at the Emirates…

I think it’s fair to say that we Gooners have seen better Christmasses.

Of course we’ve also seen worse ones too, but I think I’m not alone in saying that hearing the extent of Cesc’s injury confirmed made me feel physically sick. Cesc, our new captain, our engine, and the most loved of all our players, effectively out for the rest of the season. With his time at Arsenal apparently limited to just a few more years it’s difficult to stomach any of that precious time being snatched away.

So in the immediate future we face what suddenly looks a massive game against in-form Villa, without Adebayor or Cesc. And in the longer term we face the rest of the season without any sort of midfield to speak of. There will have to be a lot of gritting of teeth, puffing out of cheeks, and squaring of shoulders from fans and players alike.

Arsene has great, great faith in players like Bendtner and Diaby. Now, more than ever, we need that faith to be repaid by these players. We need to see that they were worth Arsene’s investment of trust. You’d struggle to find an Arsenal fan who honestly believes they are, but we need them to surprise us – and soon.

Today seems to be all about the Great Cesc Replacement Suggestion Extravaganza. So far, we’ve seen names like Parker, Inler, Veloso, Noble, Arteta (an astute shout from the Arseblogger, that one), Barry, Senna, Alonso, Toure Yaya, Defour, Arshavin, Arda Turan and Mouyokolo. You can add UpForGrabsNow’s name to that list. We are willing and ready to fight for Arsenal… jusht ash shoon ash we’fe finished thissh mincshe pie.

Of course, some of these names would obviously not compensate for the loss of Cesc because they play in completely different positions.

The Arshavin saga will rumble on with the bizarre tabloid logic seeing him (a forward who can play on the wing) as the solution to our gapingly empty central midfield. Having heard Wenger yesterday, I think there’s definitely something going on with Arshavin and I wouldn’t be too surprised to see him arrive in January, though as a winger, not to fill Cesc’s boots. Arsene was very canny in the press conference on the topic, saying that it was not worth discussing “now” because it was not a ”realistic solution right now”.

To me this just sounds like he wants him but Zenit aren’t playing ball with a realistic price, holding out for an Abramovich-scale bidding war which just isn’t going to materialise. The good thing is that since he is in a big strop (saying he’d only be a Zenit player on paper if he doesn’t get a move in January) they have absolutely no bargaining power and no-one else (of any stature) wants him. If he does come in, expect it to be for a fee some way short of £10m, which is probably not much more than he’s actually worth.

In terms of actually replacing Cesc, I think Wenger will definitely bring someone in from outside the club, “internal solutions” or no.

There’s been some pretty perverse reaction from some of our fans. I’ve read people writing things like “Cesc’s injury is really bad, but at least it will force Wenger to spend money in January”. This is a totally warped point of view, twisted by hours spent impotently ranting against Wenger’s management, an activity which makes the ranter lose all sense of proportion and reason as their whole life-force seems to be channelled towards demanding big-money signings at Arsenal FC.

Forgive me for pointing out that the ultimate aim of football is not to force visionary managers into spending money at the expense of the outstanding footballers they already possess, and that maybe, just maybe, it would have been better not to have lost our best player and be forced into an unpromising market for a stop-gap solution. But at least the bleaters will get their signing at long last, which ought to quieten them down a bit (but probably won’t).

From the names being bandied about at the moment, I like the sound of Arteta in particular. Veloso and Inler are players who seem to be much admired around Europe and who would both be available at a decent price. I haven’t seen either enough to properly form an opinion of them, (and would be interested to hear the thoughts of anyone who has) but they are both still very young and I feel a more experienced player like Arteta or Alonso is more like what we need right now.

I’d be interested to hear your thoughts, though of course the only thoughts which really matter right now are those of Wenger and he’s probably got pretty different thoughts to the likes of us. He doesn’t regret selling Diarra. Gotta say I do regret that. A wee bit.

He also said he was looking forward to everyone coming over very “imaginative” in their speculation. So we can expect to see the Daily Mirror staging an open-air Nativity play in which a wise man, a shepherd and one of the cows are unmasked one after another as expensive South American solutions to Arsenal’s mid-season malaise smuggled into the UK by Arsene under the pretence of popular seasonal drama in order to avoid work-permit complications.

Of course the best thing would be if we could sign God Incarnate, who was rumoured to have been shown round London Colney last Thursday and who would certainly provide a bit of steel at centre-half.

Arsene has confirmed that Cesc has injured his medial knee ligaments and will miss between one and three weeks. He said the injury was “difficult to assess”, admitted it was a blow, but that the team would “have to cope with it”.

They certainly will. He’ll be missing at Villa Park for sure. A three week lay-off would also rule him out of home fixtures against Portsmouth and Bolton in the league, games which should be very winnable with or without Cesc. And he would surely have been rested againt Plymouth on January 3rd in any case.

It’s a big big blow, but the positive angle would be that he’s only going to miss one really big game and at least Cesc will finally get a rest and we could see him back to his imperious best in the New Year as a result.

On today’s evidence, it will be Diaby who steps into the breach. He needs to take this chance to nail down his status as an important player in the squad.

We’ve never needed him more and he’ll never get a better opportunity to prove himself in his preferred position. Over to you, Abou.

Latest Update: Guillem Balague, the well-respected Spanish journalist has claimed that Cesc’s injury may be much worse than originally thought. He describes “private fears” within the dressing room that in fact Cesc has torn a cruciate knee ligament, a severe injury which would see him sidelined until well into next year. He’ll have a scan tomorrow, a prognosis which could well decide our season.

I hate to say it on this occasion, but Balague is a top journalist with excellent connections and astute instincts. Let’s just hope he’s been talking to the wrong people.

Would do very nicely today. Apart from the death bit. I don’t wish that on anyone.

The biggest match of the season, apart from the matches we’ve already had including Manchester United and Chelsea, and the matches we’ve yet to come, including Manchester  United and Chelsea again.

But seriously (although it feels as if we have to say this all the time) this is a make or break moment for the side: win and we’ll close the gap on Liverpool to five points – a lead which everybody knows is completely conquerable, particularly given the shiny new squad members which are undoubtedly going to arrive in January.  Lose and we’re sunk, and the rats will start leaving in January.

Nasri’s back, which might make a fair bit of difference: he gives us the Piresian width we lacked so badly against Boro. Whilst he’s looked promising so far his injuries habit is becoming very irritating. I hope he grows out of it, and doesn’t end up dead like Tom Rosicky. It’s also high time Cesc had a big game, if you’re asking me. Which you’re probably not. But then again, you’re reading this, so you can at least pretend to for a bit. Cesc ought to be doing that thing he did at the start of last season where he scores lots and lots of goals.

There isn’t much to report on the Bracers shares debacle, although with time from the event everything is predictably calming down quite a lot. I’m hopefully meeting my top-secret inside source tomorrow, from which point I’ll no doubt be able to give you Grabbers a unique inside-track on what’s going on.
Until then, come on you reds. I’ll take a couple of goals like this, thanks very much…

In other news, yesterday I felt like my life was becoming too purposeful so I reinstalled Championship Manager 2000-2001, and I must say they did get quite a lot of things wrong. I mean quite a lot right, too, but quite a lot wrong. For instance, the game doesn’t feature, on any level, Cesc, Ronaldo, Drogba, Messi or lots of other great players. Given the amount everyone talks about how comprehensive their databases are, those are four pretty big omissions for players who looked good from a very early age…

This is, you’re right, slightly sad of me. But if anyone can remember any really good players from 2000-2001 I’d be delighted to hear them…

Today we’ve got: Sweaty Eboue in Portuguese Romp Sensation, The Future of Cesc and a daring exposé of the extraordinary rationale behind Arsene Wenger’s transfer market tomfoolery.

First off, last night. It was a bit pants, wasn’t it?  A very under-strength team sent to Porto apparently with the frank instruction not to bother. Nobody playing last night did themselves any great favours, though Ramsey and Vela looked fairly encouraging and would surely have looked even better had they been part of a high-strength Arsenal team rather than the diet version.

There seems to have been a lot of internet credulity towards the sudden injuries afflicting our most senior players which meant none of them could even travel to the game. Concerned, 37, from Nuneaton wrote in to say “I’m so surprised that Fabregas, Sagna, Clichy, Van Persie, Adebayor and Toure are all injured – they looked fine on Saturday. I really hope they’ll be back for Saturday!”

Don’t you worry Concerned, they’ll be back for Boro sure as Gael’s a Gooner. Arsene was just playing silly buggers with Uefa.

Eboue’s return passed off largely without gaffe or aplomb. Not that I really know what aplomb actually constitutes – it just sounds sort of bouncy and flag-waving and since I didn’t see either of these things from Eboue yesterday I think it’s fair to say that he returned without aplomb. Though he did hurl his sweaty number 27 shirt into the crowd, so, erm, congratulations to the long suffering no-doubt delighted Gooner on the other end of that.

No originality points for pointing out that Bendtner had another poor game, losing the ball at important moments with chronic regularity. Would be interested to know just how thin Goonerish patience is wearing with him. I’m not really sure why, but I still think he’ll be worth it in the long run.

All of which means we’ll be playing one of AS Roma, Panathinaikos, FC Barcelona, Bayern Munich or Juventus. You’d obviously pick Panathinaikos as the one you’d want while Barca, fun as that would be, is probably not what we need at this stage. Some BBC chappie wrote that if we drew them we’d have no chance. Must be because the BBC doesn’t have the rights to the Premiership – didn’t he see us beat United and Chelsea, teams at least on a par with Barca right now?

Nothing to fear I reckon and as many people have been pointing out, we only play well against the big teams because that’s the only time when any of our players can be collectively arsed.

Talking of Barca, much quoted around the British press this morning is Captain Cesc who has unfortunately done another interview with Radio Marca:

Everybody knows that one day I will return to Spanish football. It’s an experience I want to live. I want to play in Spain as a professional before I retire. The idea has always been the same. That’s why I signed such a long contract.

If these remarks are not being hideously mistranslated and decontextualised, then this sounds like a time-frame – another 6 years at Arsenal then off to Barca. I reckon Cesc may well have a similar view of contracts to Arsene, that is, you sign them for a reason and you stick to them (remember Arsene joined us late because he wouldn’t shave even a couple of months off his Grampus 8 tenure?

Seeing as Cesc obviously does want to go to Spain at some point in his career isn’t it in Arsenal’s interests to know in advance when that is going to be so that the inevitable speculation can be brushed aside (at least within the club) and plans can be made to fill the huge gap he will eventually leave? A relatively neat solution to an awkward problem, the problem of a loyal player who really loves the club, but who naturally wants to play for Barca, the team that is in his blood, at some stage. 

I’ve always had a niggling suspicion that something like this might have been agreed upon, and it was a suspicion which grew wings when we signed Ramsey in the summer. He looks to me like a future midfield engine to be groomed under Fabregas as his long-term replacement.

Very interested to know your views on this.

Finally, yesterday Grabber pointed out that with Homer and Carl already involved, all we needed was a Lenny to complete the world’s first Simpson’s-based strikeforce. Terrifying indeed. Well, guess what? If the newspaper reports were right in November then that’s exactly who will be arriving in January – Palmeiras’ pint-sized scoring sensation Lenny!

So there it is, UpForGrabsNow has scooped the world’s media. This stuff about signing talented youngsters is just a cover for Arsene’s crazed attempt to assemble a team of Simpson’s characters. The next time you see a player linked with the club, you’ll know if Arsene’s really interested by his name.

Xabi Alonso? Don’t remember seeing him in Springfield Elementary too often, do you? Little known Bolivian hardman Barney Gumblinho? Expect to see his popular “Gumblinho 48″ shirt all over the Emirates come January.

1. Fabregas. You’ve gotta love him. He’s one of the very few footballers who seems to understand what it’s like being a fan and how terrified we are when someone starts claiming that your best player wants to leave. I thought the Out of Contextness of the comments yesterday was so obvious and the jump from Cesc saying “Milan are a great club” to headlines like ”CESC WANTS OUT!” was so big that it was very obviously bollocks. Soon there will be a whole industry (hold on, there is, it’s called the Spanish media) dedicated to asking Cesc innocuous questions and then twisting his polite replies into dire threats of his imminent departure. It really isn’t going to go away as it’s a perennially big story which the papers can run over and over again without doing any actual work, which is exactly the kind of story journalists love.

Yet still, great man that he is, Captain Cesc takes the time to issue a short statement on Arsenal.com effectively saying “don’t worry, it’s all bollocks I’m staying here”. Thierry Henry used to say he wouldn’t respond to every story about his future because if he did he’d have to be doing it all the time and the stories would just come back next week. Well, Cesc does it all the time and it doesn’t exactly seem to be a full-time job, Thierry, and yes he is balancing brief statement-making with the captaincy. Cesc seems to realise that though the stories won’t go away, what matters when Arsenal fans see these stories is that they have some kind of confirmation that they are the same old guff.

Captain Cesc, we salute you. You are a warrior and a gentleman.

2. Eduardo is coming back! Arsene has said he’s been playing training matches, will be back as quickly as possible and should be getting games soon! I think we all know that we shouldn’t expect too much of the boy especially when he first gets back, but I can’t really stop myself thinking about how great it will be to see him back in the shirt and how incredible it would be if he got back to his pre-injury level of performance. It could also be vital for our season, though the icy realist in me (he’s called Olie and he’s been having a great time all season) keeps insisting that we’re unlikely to see him back at anything like his best until next season. Still, haste ye back, Dudu.

3. We’re going to annihilate Wigan. I can feel it. I know as I write this that I might end up eating a My Words roast on Sunday with a My Words sauce and My Words dumpling but I’ll go for this anyway: I think we may have turned some kind of corner. I know we’ve had more than a few false dawns and I don’t expect everything to suddenly be hunky-dory again, but I don’t think we’re going to see as much utter piffle as we’ve been subjected to in recent weeks.

My confidence for the Wigan game is based on two things. Firstly, Wigan are really bad and Titus Bramble plays for them. Secondly, the kids got duffed in the Carling Cup and two of our most abject first team displays have followed triumphant Gunnerlings victories. Not so this time. I expect a three-points-sandwich for Saturday’s supper.

4. Veet-hair-removal-cream-nemesis Ryan Giggs, a player for whom I have infinitely more respect than the detestable Roy Keane (see previous post, the guy resigned by text message – what a clown), has hailed Aaron Ramsey as the future of Welsh football. If this sounds a bit like saying that consonants are the future of the Welsh language it’s because it is, a bit. There’s not much competition from the vowels, admittedly, but I reckon Giggs has seen enough promising young players to have a pretty shrewd idea when you’re looking at a future great and this is what he seems to be saying with Ramsey.

5. Finally, today’s your last chance to enter our Sagnatastic Chant Composition Competition. Write us a top new Arsenal chant and pop it in the comments section and if yours emerges on top from the bloody struggle with all the other entries then we will richly reward you with a crown of laurels* and a photo of Bacary Sagna, signed by His Majesty The Right Back himself. You might as well give it a go.

* the crown of laurels aspect of the prize is purely metaphorical, an e-crown of laurels to be worn with pride.

Update: An additional reason why it’s great to be a Gooner today – Ronaldo almost signed for us but didn’t. Hmm. Don’t know how much support that’s going to get as a reason to feel great, but you will admit that the guy is a complete tool whose victory in the Ballon d’Or was a shame for football. Plus we had Reyes instead, didn’t we. Hmm. I can see this is going to be difficult, so let’s move on.

Can anyone make a whole team of players we nearly signed who then went on to greatness? This might be a bit painful, but off the top of my head there was Cech and Ronaldo (both of whom we were very close to), Terry might have been on the cards before Abramovich arrived, Robinho was fairly close before he went to Madrid and Torres was looked at very seriously when he was 17. Wenger almost signed Makelele before he went to Spain. God, this is depressing – anyone remember any others?

Some areas of the media have spent the last fortnight suggesting that Arsenal are a a bunch of overrated, too-young flimsies with a tendency to self-destruct and massive issues with commitment, talent and self-belief band of maverick gypsy-footballing geniuses who only needed an occasion and a bit of luck to prove themselves potential world-beaters. Those areas have just been proved correct.

What a !

It wasn’t easy; it was never going to be, but our team delivered the goods this afternoon and we continue our 100% record against the big sides. 

Lots of people were sceptical about the optimism going into this match, but the team showed once again the talent they have, and offered a glimpse of the team they could be if they applied themselves like this all the time. 

Robin stepped up when he had to, and Cesc showed that he’s got the stones to be the captain in the games that really matter – Djourou was very unlucky with the own goal, I felt. It was a challenge he had to make, and the test of a player (and his teammates, more to the point) is how they respond when these things happen.

It wasn’t perfect – there are still lots of questions to be asked of the defence and midfield, but as against United we made the most of our luck. Better to be a lucky team than a good one, to paraphrase Napoleon.

More on the match tomorrow, and also more on those blogs who’ve seen fit to start criticising our greatest postwar manager for myopia after a few dodgy games…

But for now let’s enjoy the victory. Have between twenty five and a million beers.

So the first game under Captain Cesc and the first step on the road to recovery for this team. Let’s hope that road is about 12 metres long, paved with gold, and we’re allowed to drive a turbo-charged eleven-seater Ferrari. We need to get there fast so that when we next have a really difficult fixture we are at our best. What’s that? Chelsea away? On Sunday? Oh dear.

Back to last night, and Kiev. We shouldn’t allow the current problems to obscure the significance of ickle Jack Wilshere’s plucky European debut. He looked tidy and inventive as always, and supremely comfortable on the ball. Perhaps he’s been taking lessons from Alex Song.

For some reason I never noticed it in the Carling Cup games but playing for a bigger Arsenal side against a lumping Kiev team, Jack looked a bit like what happens on SuperMario when your guy gets shrunk. He was TINY! Seeing him marking one enormous bald bloke at a free-kick I half expected him to be crushed underfoot in a shower of lost gold coins, or else to leap ridiculously high and kill the bald bloke by stamping on his head shouting “Yippee! Wahey! Wazoo!”

It’s probably good in the long run that he didn’t do any of these things. Instead he gave a cameo performance which has had some fans calling for him to have a bigger role on a more regular basis. My view is that I’d like to see him get a few games this season and then really push for a place next year a la Walcott. Ramsey is still ahead of Jack for his sheer beefiness, and while last night wasn’t Aaron’s best performance, it’s much easier to look good for 15 minutes than for a whole match, as we saw with Carlos Vela who Wenger withdrew due to fatigue after an hour. The good thing is that Jack plays centrally and on the left, Aaron plays centrally and on the right and so they should both be providing healthy competition for more senior players.

Other observations: Gael pulled off some sick tricks to get himself out of trouble when he was in really tight spots. He’s been doing these more and more this season. I can’t think of another full-back in the world to match his sheer audacity (think the casual overhead lobbing of Ronaldo the other week). This can also land him in big boo-boo (think Totts) but it’s certainly exciting to watch.

I was concerned by Van Persie’s performance last night. He looked pretty lazy for most of the first half and I lost count of the number of times I was screaming at him to get in the box and he seemed to dash off in the other direction, making space for… wait… nobody, because he was the main striker. I know it’s very early to judge, but the Van Persie-Vela left footed combo didn’t really look too promising.

Typically for a club of such class, Gallas received a pretty reasonable reception. He had a night of near misses at both ends as he had a good finish disallowed, was then lucky that an error of Bramble-esque proportions went unpunished by their grubby looking striker, and then put a goal-saving block on a Van Persie which looked destined for the net. The early signs were promising that he will be able to stop girning and get back to being the pretty excellent defender he once was.

Cesc chose exactly the right words on Gallas, words that should unite the team and the supporters: 

“I have a great respect for William. A lot of people from the outside have been very unfair with him because he is a great guy, a great professional and he always tries to do everything to help this club. You can never doubt his commitment to the club. It has been spot on since the first day and he has been a big, big player for us.”

This is quite hard to take as fans still angry at last week’s apparent betrayal, but coming from a player as adored as Cesc is, it’s kind of hard not to just accept this. Cesc knows Gallas and has trained with him for two and a half years. We don’t and we haven’t. He’s been in the dressing room and heard what has gone on. We haven’t. Cesc knows?

Finally, a word on injuries. Nine is a lot of first teamers (ok, eight if you don’t count Eboue) to have sitting on the sidelines, and seeing them all cosied up in dark grey parkas and silly hats I fear that unless our wounded players either get better and start wearing red shirts and white shorts again or else change their casual dress-sense pretty soon, people are going to start mistaking them for low quality rap collaboration The Blazin’ Squad and they’ll have to do gigs and such. But then Adebayor would probably quite enjoy that, wouldn’t he.

Arsene says that Sagna, Nasri and Ade are all “50:50″ to make the Chelsea game. He does love his percentages, doesn’t he? I wonder whether he keeps them all in his head and how often they change, e.g. when Eduardo first got injured his percentage must have been 0:100, when he had it plastered up it was probably around 2:98 and it’s been ticking up ever since. I wonder where he’s got to now, it will be VERY good to have him back.

(Final) finally, don’t miss this. Proof (which was obviously very needed) that Rooney is a cheating git. Purple Nose said he “didn’t mean to do it”. What exactly did he mean to do then? Execute some kind of unlikely diving header with the ball at his feet? Take flight up into the chilly Spanish sky? Most tastelessly of all, Ferguff-on goes on to attack Rob Pires for not apologising after his dives, which, lets face it, have probably happened once or twice. Proof (which was obviously very needed) that Purple Nose is a total git.