Posts Tagged ‘Competition’

Andepaymor: the verdict. It’s a whole lot of fun (prizes to be won)

Thursday, September 17th, 2009

Sorry for the time off. There are some things I haven’t yet spoken about from the past few days:

1) Last night’s debacle against Standard Liege, which saw a rather sub-standard HAHA ‘SUB-STANDARD’ LIKE ‘STANDARD LIEGE’ HAHA Arsenal team come back from two cacky goals down to win by two cacky goals and one slightly alrightish goal from the Great Dane.

Now people will complain about the performance, but as far as I can see we won away in Europe, which means that we’re well on the way to qualifying for the knockout stages. This is all I want from the group stages, and though clearly it would be preferable if this result could be achieved by flowing and wonderful football, but sometimes, in football as in life, you have a bit of a shitter. We had a bit of a shitter last night and still won. This is a good thing, particularly off the back of a couple of unfortunate weekends in the Premiership. Hopefully we can now go and spaff all over the carnivalesque (in a pikey and budget rather than a celebratory sense) and ugly Wigan on Saturday.

2) I would like to touch briefly also, whilst I’m here, on our performance against Manchester City on Saturday. You may be aware that we lost 4-2. Regardless of what you think about their cheating at Championship Manager approach to summer spending, Manchester City have assembled an impressive squad of unbearably lazy but sporadically skilful players. We were unfortunate to face them whilst they were feeling somewhat more sprightly than usual.

3)Now I feel like I should talk about Emmanuel Adebayor. Before I go any further, I would like to state for the record that Emmanuel Adebayor, the Togolese international footballer, is a cunt. And not just any old cunt, but a competition winning, Olympic-standard, .50 caliber belt-fed turbocunt. He is such a big cunt that he makes massive cocks like Craig Bellamy look weedy and pathetic in comparison. What more can you say? To be honest I accept his right to celebrate like a twat -although its bad that he provoked the injury of a steward, if it had been someone who quit Spurs, say, for Arsenal and then celebrated in an outrageously provocative and twattish way I’d probably be quite pleased. But to aim to hurt a former colleague and fellow professional, particularly the non-dirty Van Persie, just makes him look like a total cun- you catch my drift. I can’t wait for the day in ten matches time when Adebayor realises that City aren’t going to be in the Champions League, he has nothing to play for and becomes incredibly lazy.

Anyway, he has been banned for three matches, quite rightly, and hopefully will get three more on the 20th September.

Bring on Wigan. Some perturbing Islington Shuffle has been creeping back into our performances recently. I hope Arsene stamps it out. I doubt he will.

Finally, I would like to draw your attention to our latest Philosophy Football competition. Since we are sort of getting our act together for the new season on here, we have once again teamed up with the uber-providers of humorous quality merchandise to offer UFGN readers the chance to win a cracking ‘Gaffer’ mug. We’re presuming in this context ‘Gaffer’ refers to the footballing nickname for the boss, rather than someone who specialises in smoking or making embarrassing faux-pas. But hey, if not it’s all hilarious banter you can have with people in the office. Or your home, if you insist on being called the ‘Boss’ at home, like ageing blue-collar crooner Bruce Springsteen.

The mug is part of a set from Philosophy Football – others bear the humorous ‘Transfer Target’ and ‘Midfield General’, but Grabs and I thought this the most fetching.

To win simply answer the following question: how many domestic doubles have Arsenal won with Arsene in charge? Please email your answer with name and address to admin@philosophyfootball.com with UpForGrabsNow Competition in the subject title. Entries close on the 30th September.

Get grabbing, grabbers.

mug1

Your email:

 

 

Homer Simpson to Norwich, win our Sagna photo!

Thursday, December 4th, 2008

Not so much to talk about today. We’re no longer in the Carling Cup, which is a bit, well, meh, isn’t it? I try very hard to get worked up about this sort of thing, but you can’t always do well in the Carling Cup, and it would be far worse if players like Cesc Fabregas were becoming demoralised and tired from losing away at Burnley than Nick Bendtner, say, who as far as I’m concerned can be as tired and as demoralised as he wants just at the moment, the couldn’t-hit-a-barn-door bastard.

Jay Simpson might go to Norwich. I know people will talk about this young player and his facial hair, but for me the real interest in him at this point is that he’s the second part of the name of America’s favourite yellow father (and not the Chinese sort), as you discover in the episode where you discover that the ‘J’ in Homer ‘J’ Simpson stands simply for ‘Jay’.

I think perhaps his nickname should be ‘Homer’.

 

Gael Clichy says we can’t afford to drop points, which is a bit like me saying I don’t need any more muffins, in that it will probably happen anyway, and Gael will feel sad for saying it. I think Gael Clichy should stop speaking to the press for a little while, anyway.

 

Anyway, that’s about all for today. I leave you to continue the chant competition to win our signed photo of Bacary Sagna (signed by him, not by us). For my two pennies’ worth, there must be something doable with the Vampire Weekend song ‘Walcott’…?

Carling Cup Night – win a signed photo of Sagna!

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008

 Another chance for the kids to show they’re alright tonight, with a trip to the grim northern hellhole delightful northern beauty-spot of Burnley. Arsene has come out asking for his record to be respected in this competition. Odd that ‘Arsene wants his record respected’ caught my eye – perhaps it’s something to do with all those ridiculous blogs calling for his head…

Honestly. If I were our tykes I’d be very unhappy at all the running around in the rain I’d have to do. Particularly given how cold the rain is likely to be. Cold and wet. I bet Carlos Vela doesn’t appreciate the cold and wet that much. I’ve always maintained that Arsenal play best in the sunshine – at the start and the end of the season.

Here’s to hoping that they don’t flop like blancmange this evening, and that the youthful zip which has served them so well so far continues. A comfortable 5-0 victory would suit me fine, with lots of goals for our part-time strikers, and hopefully a blooding for some of the part-timers, ideally Amaury Bischoff and Francis Coquelin, who have the best names in the squad except for Sanchez Watt.

Come on the boys. There’ll be instant response to the game here, so come for all your ranting and raving needs.

In other news, we here at Up For Grabs Now have a very special prize to give away – it is a signed photo of our rock-like right back Bacary Sagna, in all his octopus-haired glory.

All you have to do is suggest a great new chant for the Arsenal. It should be funny and different without being too offensive, and can either be about a player or the team as a whole. It should also cleave to the tune of an existing song – please detail the tune you’re working from.

Simply post it on the comments section and the best chant at the end of the week will win the photo, as well as my singing of the new chant loud and proud at the Emirates each week, until it catches on or I am escorted from the premises.

Not too hard now is it?