Up For Grabs Now

We’re back. And we didn’t miss much, did we?

Vermaelen signed, youngster after nipper signed up on ever longer contracts, and Mr Wenger made a brief appearance  on French radio. You didn’t really need your daily splash of UpForGrabsNow to get you through that, did you?

The truth is, it’s been no time for blogging. No, now is the time of year for basking in the hot sun, and the warm afterglow of Arshavin’s quadruple at Anfield.

There’ll be no football for ages and it’s no use torturing yourself by wistfully flitting through Arsenal.com’s exhaustive serialisation of the Player of the Year poll results – “Revealed Today! 34th in our poll was… Amaury Bischoff!”

That way lies insanity. Better to tough it out with a spot of Wimbledon and occasional chortles at GuardianFootball’s superlative Rumour Mill.

One rumour to burst from its cold chrysalis and emerge blinking into the glorious flash-bulbs of a shirt-holding-up-ceremony with all the trimmings, was our interest in former Ajax skipper Thomas Vermaelen. He looks a shrewd signing. Great experience gained as captain of a major European club at just 23, and Tommy will surely be pressing for a starting spot in what’s been a problem position ever since Sol. He looks a bit like Vidic, I think, which means he possesses the eyes of an especially calculating cougar about to clamp it’s jaws around the neck of a hapless snow-hare, and appears to have had a sizeable steel plate embedded deep within his forehead. Let’s hope he plays like Vidic, too.

I expect to see a couple more brought in within the next few weeks, but Mr Wenger will be patient and try to pick his moment. Unless a lot of agents are telling a lot of porkies (not altogether unlikely really) we’re keeping an eye on a range of central defenders, from Werder Bremen’s Brazilian man-giant Naldo to Stuttgart’s promising Serdar Tasci.

What’s that? No midfielders?

The Arsenal Midfield Transfer Target Mystery grows deeper by the day, with every hack and his swarthy hound scrapping for a place within the very broad consensus of opinion That Arsenal Need A Tough-Tackling Midfield Enforcer If They Are To Challenge For Major Honours Next Season (the concluding phrase of every report on Arsenal’s transfer policy for the last, um, 3 years – with a brief interlude during Flamini’s good form).

Everyone is agreed. Mr Wenger has to buy a big hairy troll-man to guard Fabregas.

But who? Nobody seems to have a scoobie, frankly. The papers have largely (and mercifully) stopped bothering with the customary nods towards Inler, Cana, M’bia and Matuidi. They’ve been nodding towards that lot, and a few others, for bloody ages. They’ve probably got really sore necks by now. You’ve got to stop somewhere.

A very good morning to you. I can only apologise for the outlandishness of Grabs yesterday. It’s clear to everyone that Juan Seba Veron is a very, very old man, unsuitable for playing football, and frankly unsuitable for anything much except for playing dominoes on a warm roadside and talking about how the weather never changes.

But it did get me thinking about who we could add to the squad at this stage who would have enough experience, as well as offering us that extra sharpness in the final third, and also made me think outside the usual suspects for a bit. Forgive me if I’m wrong, but I think one Luis Figo fits the bill perfectly.

As yesterday, I know it might sound a bit strange, but the more I think about it the more sense it makes. He’s getting on a bit, but we don’t necessarily need him for very long. He’s played at the highest levels continuously and has performed all that time. He’s skilful, has great vision and has always been more rugged than others of his ilk – bit like one DB10, if memory serves, and who wouldn’t put him in the team at the drop of a hat just now. He could play on either wing or in the middle, and we wouldn’t need him for very long – just until the other midfielders blossom into fully-fledged performers. I’m also sure he’d love the chance to play in the premiership for a bit in the twilight of his career, and I’m sure Inter would let him go for a bit of cash.

What do you reckon?

In terms of the other midfielders flying around I’ve had a look on youtube and I think Lorik Cana looks like exactly what we need. Big, strong and tough with proven leadership credentials, and the occasional  goal. He also looks like a bit of a nutter, and as has been pointed out elsewhere we do tend to win more when we have more people sent off. He’s also at a good stage of his career for a big move to England. The worry is that the French league isn’t a good enough proving ground, but he looks like he could handle it.

The worry is that Marseille wouldn’t be that keen to let their club captain go, but most teams are in a selling mood at the moment. Presumably he wouldn’t mind swapping the south of France for London – I think it’s easy to forget what a draw that is to some players.

In other news (other than the fact we’re playing Bolton tomorrow and Megson has been talking out of his arse about it, which I refuse to talk about because the idea that he’s a human of sufficient wit and/or guile to engage in psychological games with le boss is so ridiculous as almost to make me spew my pain au chocolat) there’s been a lot of talk about the fact we might not sell out the Bolton game, and the implications of that. It’s being argued that we’re charging too much for a team that doesn’t win anything, but I think that’s bollies. Attendances have been levelling off all over the shop, and the Arsenal attendance figures are always a nonsense anyway thanks to their policy of counting all season ticket-holders as permanently attending. Anyone who’s glanced around the ground will know that we almost never have 60,000 there, and I’m not quite sure the logic of saying that we do…

The real issue (if there is one), I think, is that lots of Arsenal supporters (particularly new ones) are people who’ve over the last ten years gotten much richer from their North London homes and the generally benevolent fiscal situation, and Arsenal has become the club of choice for that particular brand of upwardly mobile, Nick Hornby style chap and their families. It was the rise of these fans which meant we could build the Emirates in the first place, and that people can still on the whole afford the expensive tickets and scarves. Perhaps in the downturn some of these fringe attendees are starting to drop off, and that explains the unusually slow sales.

Either way it’s nothing to worry about. Bolton are much more deserving of our fears.