Arsene Wenger has today sanctioned a deal to bring leggy diva Beyonce Knowles to the Emirates next season. It is believed Wenger moved for Knowles after leggy diva Emmanuel Adebayor revealed to a bewildered English press that it was the lure of Beyonce which had made him seriously consider joining Milan last summer.
Knowles: Finally a long-term successor to Ray Parlour
‘Le Prof’ is known to consult players over signings, however the arrival of Knowles remains something of a surprise since she has no experience of top-flight football and had been enjoying a flourishing solo career. Her record company Columbia Records are said to be phlegmatic about the loss of Knowles, and they have high hopes for her replacement, Phillipe Senderos, who was included in the undisclosed deal at the last minute.
In an EXCLUSIVE interview with Arsenal TVOnline, Senderos thanked Gunners fans for their support throughout his time at the club, but admitted that the chance to become a major recording artist was too good to turn down.
[That's enough claptrap - Ed]
So a fun weekend, a weekend of Cescy goals, a lead over Villa expanding faster than Simon Cowell’s cup-size, Tottenham once again humiliating themselves in the public eye and United having heinous decision after heinous decision go in their favour. First the penalty, then Giggs. Tragic. It’s enough to make you poke your eyes out with your housekeys then jump out the window.
Hopefully, United will now regard themselves as unbeatable and will be brought crashing down from their hubristic height by the irresistible Islington Shuffle when it smashes into The Theatre of Dreams (no hubris there then, nope, none) in its polite, non-aggressive, why-not-square-it-again way on Wednesday.
Nah, I hope Ronaldo and Rooney both miss penalties and are mercilessly goaded by Eboue and a suddenly vindictive Abou Diaby (in the timeless manner of Keown - God I love Keown), and then Alex Song scores a second-half hatrick to place the tie out of their reach. No club deserves a good kicking like United do now, the nobbers.
Infuriating United Fact: Between 1993 and 2003 United conceded a massive FIVE penalties at Old Trafford in the Premiership. Right. So away penalties are biennial in Manchester, then? A bit like the African Cup of Nations.
The chat is that Nasri might play defensive midfield, freeing up Cesc to wreak all kinds of chaos. I’d be surprised if this happens, firstly because Rob’s injury sort of means Nasri has to play on the left (Diaby, anyone?) and also because I think we’ll start with Song and Denilson in defensive midfield, which would still give Cesc a bit of freedom to roam.
What do you think? Who’d you start with?
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