Up For Grabs Now

Still only eerie silence coming out of the Emirates this morning with no official confirmation of Gallas’ ignominious dismissal. Arsene is expected to deal with the issue publicly after the match today when it will no longer be very easy to pretend that nothing is going on. If the Arse-Poll (top right) is to be believed, we can expect Adams to start polishing his cannon as soon as he’s finished playing Hull.

Gallas didn’t even have the decency to do his dirty at the beginning of the week, which would have given the team some time to get their heads together for today’s game against City. As it is, they will all be suffering a bit of a mind-fuck as they prepare for the match. We can only hope that Gallas’ absence serves to unite the team – perhaps a bit of siege mentality is exactly what we’ve been missing so far this season.

Our injury list would stand a pretty good chance against most teams: Kolo Toure, Cesc Fabregas, Theo Walcott, Emmanuel Eboue, Bacary Sagna, Tomas Rosicky and Eduardo. Though the defence might be a bit iffy that lot would certainly be a pretty decent 5-a-side outfit, as long as Eboue agreed to be the kind of rolling sub who rolled straight off as soon as he rolled on.

So we’re likely to start with Stallone and Djourou at the heart of the defence (we may also have to endure Inappropriate Outbursts of Song). Our right-back position has been well and truly scuppered by the scuppering of all possible candidates – Eboue, Sagna, Toure, and even Gallas all ruled out. Our squad depth in that position is better than most others, actually, and yet we still find ourselves completely bereft of an experienced right-back. Young Guns reckon we’ll see Gavin Hoyte, and if we do, the team will really need to get behind him and help him settle.

A big game for Diaby today. With Fabregas in the side, you often get the sense that he isn’t really allowed to run the show as much as he’d like and often finds himself notoriously Out of Position, gangling around rather aimlessly, or occasionally brilliantly (witness United, Fenerbahce away). Today we should see him firmly in position at the heart of the midfield and it will be fascinating to see how he gets on against a very competent City engine room.

One story which deserves a bit of attention is this from the Guardian, who report that today’s opponents are eyeing up Kolo Toure with a view to a January move. At one time this would have been unthinkable and Wenger’s obvious affection for Toure and Toure’s immense loyalty to Arsenal and Arsene make any such move very unlikely, I think.

Some of our more reactionary fans would do well to note that Hughes is reported to be considering this because two of his current centre-halves (Micah Richards and Richard Dunne) have not been good enough, making costly errors in key games. We have regularly been linked with both players and I have heard more than a few fans moaning about Arsene not bringing in Dunne in particular when he was available. Well, the grass isn’t always greener and Arsenal’s defenders aren’t the only ones who make mistakes.

Forza Gooners.

So despite what I said earlier, it seems William Gallas has not been stripped of the Arsenal captaincy, and will not play against Manchester City tomorrow. 

In terms of captaincy, good riddance to bad rubbish. His shortcomings were becoming clear long before his antics against Birmingham last year, but since then he has lurched from bad to worse. In hindsight it will no doubt be said that after his outburst yesterday his position was untenable, but as is clear from below I’m not convinced this was completely the case. 

Still, this is where we are now. Twelve games in, four defeats, all to opposition we ought to have beaten, and an away game against one of the up-and-coming and stronger sides in the league with no captain and no Fabregas. 

Immediate thoughts suggest Almunia will take the armband – Nigel Winterburn, no less, thinks so. Though he was with me earlier today in not thinking he would go, so who knows what’s going on. Almunia wouldn’t be my long-term choice, but for tomorrow he is the oldest in the squad, and also seems to be a popular figure.

He’s suspended for tomorrow, but thoughts will turn to Cesc Fabregas. My theory behind not making him captain is that he’ll have a set list of objectives to complete as an Arsenal player, and being captain might well be one of them. Hold out on it for a while, and perhaps he’ll hold on for a couple of years. We also saw with Henry how being made captain can affect personal performance. Cesc has struggled for form this season anyway, and whilst it might perk him up, it would also put even more pressure on his already burdened shoulders. On the flip side, one suspects that he’s one of the few players in the dressing room whose talent inspires universal respect, and that could be an important unifying factor (as it occasionally worked with Thierry).

That said, I’m completely aware that this theory sounds like a complete load of bollocks, and also that my alternative candidate, Gael Clichy, might struggle for respect in a dressing room with more experienced and already antagonistic heads in it. 

Of course, people will be tolling the bells. But it’s important to put things in perspective. A senior player has stepped out of line and been punished, but it has not come completely out of the blue. We are also high in the league, at an early stage of the season, with a young side bristling with talent but lacking something in belief. This kind of adversity can breed triumph. Let’s not jump to any conclusions before we’ve seen how the dust settles.

It’s not all doom and gloom, gooners. Heads up.

Somewhat calmer today about our captain. But not calmer in a ‘oh, he’s ok really, the poor chap, he was just trying his best’ kind of a way, more calmer in a steely-eyed, finger on the trigger kind of a way. Gallas is a weapon. A good footballer on occasion (in the olden days occasionally a great one), but stupid, vain and proud. No captain of Arsenal.

However, part of what makes his behaviour so unacceptable is that there’s no way it’s a good idea to get rid of him at this stage of the season. If he was going to be a complete asshole, this is the best possible time for him to do it – as Nigel Winterburn has come out and said, there’s no way Arsene can get rid of him now, with the club in turmoil. In the first place, the last thing we need is more disruption whilst we try to get the season back on course, and in the second there’s no obvious replacement. The blogs have been discussing it, and consensus seems to be that if anyone were to step up Toure would be the most obvious choice. This isn’t completely ridiculous, but I feel slightly that if Arsene were going to go down that route he’d have done it by now.

The other candidate people have started to suggest is Gael Clichy. This is an idea I’m much keener on in the long run: he loves the club, is intelligent and would give his own every much. It remains to be seen whether he’s quite spunky enough when the chips are down, and whether he can do the motivational speeches. Still, since I have my reasons for not wanting Cesc to be captain of Arsenal, he gets my vote.

But not now. Gallas is a weapon. City away is not going to be an easy ride. They have some famously good footballers, and no doubt Arsenal are exactly the sort of scalp the richest club in the world will be looking to claim as they go about their campaign of world domination.

Anyway. We must wait to see what emerges about the skipper’s situation from Arsene’s press conference. I don’t know what I want from it. I hope Arsene knows.

It’s the £64,000 (a week) question. He won’t tell us anything. Oh, except that ‘it happened during an attacking move’ and the player is ’six years younger’ than him.

You have to hand it to him – he is a very clever little captain of Arsenal.

I, however, have prehensile thumbs, and consequently have been able to deduce from google and my imagination that there are currently four players on the squad our Cryptic Captain could be talking about: Eh?boo-him, RvP, Sagna and Eduardo. I’m counting Eduardo out, unless he’s become so aggravated by the itchiness of his cast that he’s taken to sitting in the dressing room and dissing the tastes in gangster rap of former Arsenal captains. 

And I suspect Sagna is ok too. Sagna seems to me like the kind of guy who is quite happy doing his job as well as he can, and occasionally gets frustrated by the incompetence of those around him (the central halves, say) but mostly puts his head down and gets on with it.

This leaves Eh?boo-him and Van Persie. Now, I have to say that during their time at Arsenal I have had mixed feelings about both of these players in terms of commitment and approach. However, I have come to the conclusion that Eboue is basically a running, diving definition of the words ‘hapless muppet’, and whilst he might make the odd bad French rap about money, he is basically too dense to be a problem.

This leaves RvP. I can completely see why RvP would be a problem. He’s a battler, yet equally gets frustrated. He was also the one creating most of the attacking against Spurs, where the problems were alleged to have surfaced.

My money is on RvP. What do we reckon?

There will, no doubt, be more on this later. Not least from me, tomorrow morning. But for the moment let it suffice for me to express my frustration that William Gallas is behaving like a twat.

It really makes a mockery of the frequent occasions on which Wenger talks about the importance of ‘intelligence’ in his footballers when Le Gal comes out with this kind of guff. He’s about as stupid as this person. And this is a stupid person.

It comes as a surprise to nobody that things in the dressing room aren’t ideal right now. But coming out in the press and announcing it to the whole world, even trying to suggest who it might be. Ugh. It’s hard to know what to do. Our captain is no captain.

Internationals, eh? Bad to friggin’ worse they are. Wenger was fuming at the start of the week and if the papers are to be believed this morning (which, in fairness, they aren’t) then he will by now be crouched outside the English FA’s Soho Square headquarters with some cheesewire and an unquenchable wrath, ready to open up an enormous can of whoop-ass. Confronted by the enraged Alsatian, the quivering suits may have no choice but to hand over £200k.

This will be comfort about as cold as it is possible for comfort to be, especially in a week where we have already lost Sagna until December. It now looks as though much will rest on the slender and frankly silly shoulders of Emmanuel Eboue, the man who has patrolled Arsenal’s right side with so much, well, silliness for the last 3 years. My own preference would be to confine Eboue to right back at all times, regardless of his knowledge of what Arsene did last summer. I’d put Carlos Vela on the left and switch Nasri to the right (which he can play, just as much as he can play on the left – like most of Arsene’s wingers he is actually a central midfielder).

Many people have been groaning about how Theo’s injury shows how wafer-thin the current squad is. They definitely have a point. Of the current Arsenal squad, possible back-up includes Eboue, Rosicky, Eduardo, Nasri, Ramsey and Wilshere (and you could probably throw in some Out Of Position Diaby (OOPD) and Innappropriate Outbursts of Song (IOS) if you were feeling really positive about things, which we definitely aren’t). Both good options here are injured for a very long time and were already injured for a very long time before Theo got injured; Nasri has rather pressing left-side commitments and Eboue is such a disgrace to the good name of the midfielding profession that if he ever turned up at some sort of National Union of Midfielders conference I think he would attract more than a few hard stares. So yes, it is pretty thin.

The Ramzoid made his debut for Wales last night down the right of midfield and he could yet prove the best option. He would have grabbed a debut goal but for the incredible selfishness of Craig Bellamy, and by all accounts played well. Also playing well was Robin van Persie, who looked miraculously fresh for his game against Sweden, bagging a brace. Playing very badly, despite what the tabloids will tell you, was John Terry whose mega balls-up against Germany had a definite Cyganity (TM) about it.

Transfer gossip: Vast Belgian centre-half Daniel van Buyten says he admires Arsenal. Thanks very much Danny! He also says he likes Bayern Munchen but will see what happens in January. Well, that’s big of you. We are also linked with a bidding war with MIDDLESBOROUGH (shit, this could be tricky) for yet another Belgian, Steven Defour. Perhaps in a twist to his usual policy of only purchasing the very young, Arsene has tightened his focus to only purchasing the Belgian very young.

Lastly, I feel it is my duty to draw your attention to a much under-discussed interview Le Gal did while away with France. See what you think and try not to fall off your chair at the end:

“Defenders are judged whether the team wins or not. There have been matches when I have played better than when I faced Manchester United, but if we’ve lost, it isn’t recognised.

“But now, the fact that it is Manchester United, there is pressure, a lot of things around this game, having won 2-1, we immediately talked about the match of Gallas. I’m not complaining.”

“We immediately talked about the match of Gallas.” What? Did we? I didn’t, did you? Certainly not. Who did, then? The Press? No, not really, they focussed more on Nasri. Hold on William, it was you wasn’t it. You’re the only person who talked about the match of Gallas. Let’s just hope he didn’t talk about it with the team afterwards. I can exclusively reveal that this story was first broken by UpForGrabsNow in our post-match report. It’s in the sixth paragraph of that report and we said:

“A small quibble with Gallas though, and this is going to sound ridiculous, but at the very end, whilst the TV cameras were swaying around Ronaldo’s lithely disappointed torso, Gallas went to the Redaction end of the Emirates and beat his chest to the crowd’s adulation, as if he had won the whole match on his own. Clearly it’s ridiculous to complain about a celebration, particularly after such an important win, but you couldn’t help but feel that whilst he revels in the attention, it was exemplary of the fair-weather captaincy which has disappointed so many fans this season. We need him to feel that imperious all the time, not just when he’s won.”

Wise words indeed, UpForGrabsNow, wise words indeed.

Happy Monday to you all. Yesterday was Sunday, which for me was significant in that I didn’t actually see the sunlight at all. I went to bed at six thirty and woke up at five, feeling really rather peculiar.

Most of the Arsenal coverage this morning lurches, predictably, back to the ‘doom and gloom’ setting after a brief interlude to spread joy and light after the united victory. Suffice it to say most of it’s beyond rubbish. Whatever people might say, our season is very far from ‘over’. Aside from the Champions League and domestic cups, in which we’ve so far looked pretty convincing, in no sense have we lost the league. And Arsenal fans with even very slight memories might remember a few seasons in which we’ve come back from weak starts, and a few more where we’ve started very strongly only to throw it away at the end…

Goonerholic has a piece about how Cesc should go home for a holiday. This intrigued me. Whilst he has looked a bit off the boil, so far I’ve thought this was as much to do with despair at the ineptitude of his teammates, and his lack of compatibility with Denison (at least compared to the Flamster). But perhaps he is just tired. I have now conjured in my head an image of Cesc trudging home to Barcelona, perhaps with his belongings wrapped in a handkerchief attached to a stick, before collapsing into the bosom of his mother and eating some jamon Serrano and drinking sangria. There’s then a montage of him doing Barcelona-like things like visiting the church and lifting logs in the snow, before returning refreshed and in time for the big game.

My imagination then continues to the big game, in which he repeatedly passes to Bendtner, who controls the ball with a typically grandiose first touch and then does a step over, falls over and watches the ball roll out for a goal kick. Cesc then starts pouring gasoline over himself like the guy in Airplane!

Hmmm. It’s very difficult to know what to say today. The lessons are essentially the same as they were before, and after, the united game. If I were the boss I’d certainly be tempted to mix it up a bit – perhaps give Ramzoid a start, or Carl, or change something at the back.

Dropping LeGal might put a rocket up a few arses but not, I fear, his own. He sometimes gives the impression of being too thick to even realise things like that – he’d probably think that being dropped was some sort of special prize. It’s also unclear who would be stronger. Toure and Silvestre? Djourou in there somewhere? Who knows. Should be an interesting week, anyway.

For anyone feeling a bit sad about Arsenal, this should cheer you up a bit. I honestly believe my family could have died in an impending nuclear holocaust and it would still make me chuckle. That is supposing, of course, that YouTube was still working right up to the last minute.

Thank you Arsenal. Thank you Arsene. It’s games like yesterday that remind me why I love this club so much, and why I will defend our boss through thick and thin (and occasionally something viscous).

On paper it was always going to be tricky – only the very brave would have put serious money on our essentially striker-less Arsenal against arguably the strongest club-side defence in the world, but the boys proved that they’ve got whatever that thing it is you need to challenge the best.

On the evidence of yesterday, that thing is a combination of other, smaller things. Of course, a big part of it is attacking flair, as Theo and Sammy, and a bit of Diaby demonstrated. But the notable addition yesterday was that this was mixed with a midfield that started running and kept running until the 96th minute, harassing, tackling and generally making a nuisance of themselves against players who themselves love nothing better than making a nuisance of themselves. Finally, a backline prepared to fling themselves around all day to stop the opposition’s ball going in our net.

Arsene’s vision of football, and what he has been correctly appraised as a visionary for, is that it is, finally and crucially, entertainment. This entertainment takes many forms, and includes the tough away draws as well as the Champions League finals, but what originally draws people to the game is that it’s a way to get away from it all on an afternoon, to gather together with family and friends and become involved in a different world with heroes, villains, excitement, victory and defeat. This is why we have the Emirates, this is why we play young players and this, when the dust has settled, is why we spend so much time, money and emotion following this team. Yesterday he was vindicated.

It was end-to-end stuff – it could have been four all by halftime, but from the start it looked, it felt, like Arsenal wanted it and deserved it more. We fought, we moved, we passed beautifully; the second goal summed it up really, as Nasri looked up and smacked it crisply past Van der Sar. having been given the opportunity by a beautifully slipped little ball from Cesc. To be fair they had a few good chances: Ronaldo could easily have snuck one at the far post (quick poll – if the best player in the world is coming into your penalty area do you a) mark him or b) not?), but Wayne Rooney had evidently left his shooting boots in a granny brothel, rather a sad state of affairs for him which culminated in a shot going for a throw in. I haven’t seen anyone do that since Martin Keown, and Keown was under far more pressure. Their goal, though a good strike from Rafael (who incidentally looks like he’s going to be a complete chief for a good white), didn’t surprise many. It was United, they always score. But though the last ten minutes were deafening.

Sammy was the pick of the bunch, but special mentions to Clichy, Diaby, Silvestre and Gallas, the latter two of which who looked (thank the Lord) like a central defence. A small quibble with Gallas though, and this is going to sound ridiculous, but at the very end, whilst the TV cameras were swaying around Ronaldo’s lithely disappointed torso, Gallas went to the Redaction end of the Emirates and beat his chest to the crowd’s adulation, as if he had won the whole match on his own. Clearly it’s ridiculous to complain about a celebration, particularly after such an important win, but you couldn’t help but feel that whilst he revels in the attention, it was exemplary of the fair-weather captaincy which has disappointed so many fans this season. We need him to feel that imperious all the time, not just when he’s won.

It’s worth mentioning that the crowd, who were as good as I’ve seen them at the Emirates and who really got behind the boys, perhaps responding to the ridiculous coverage in the build-up to the game about Wenger quitting (honestly what horseybollocks), and more generally to criticism of the team. The last six minutes were amazing to witness, as 55,000 people willed Howard Webb to end the game.

It’s also worth mentioning, whilst we’re at the mentioning stand, that Michael Carrick is a twat. Perhaps not literally, but after he kicked Almunia clean in the face, his response was to gesture to the ref that because he hadn’t meant to do it, it somehow hadn’t happened and he was therefore exempt from any retribution. The twat. I hope Manu’s alright – he looked pretty groggy before he was subbed, and had been playing well.

Talking points, then, and the real test is whether we can keep it up against the smaller sides each week. Hopefully yesterday will have reminded the team just who they are, and who they’re playing for. We’re the Arsenal; of course we’re title contenders, but it doesn’t come without a fight. Please could the players remember this.

A very good Monday to you all. Not such a good Monday for myself, but there you are. Not really your problem, I suppose.

What is all of our problem is Arsenal’s weekend. That was a weekend that Arsenal needed like I needed another beer at one last night, which was not at all. I, however, can piss out beer, whilst we cannot piss out our defence, much as I wanted to after Saturday’s ironically piss-poor display.

Before this run I was firmly in the ‘Arsene knows’ camp about our transfer policy, but increasingly it looks like it’s just not going to cut it. Aside from anything else, an injection of rock-hard experience in the middle of the park would give everyone else in the team a boost, and perhaps a bit of belief.

For the time being, however, we have to consider how we can get everyone pulling together. The midfield situation is ridiculous. Alex Song is not a Premiership starter, and if he’s ever going to be he’s certainly not going to develop into one over the next two months. Diaby, for all his flashes of greatness, is similarly erratic.

It’s obvious and also sounds stupid, but the way to start winning games is to start winning games. It would be great if this could happen against Fenerbahce on Wednesday, and then even better if it could continue into Saturday. Beating United would be exactly what the team needs – confidence from victories maketh a weak defence strong – remember the 2005 Champions League run. Admittedly there were some older heads, but the back four which conceded two goals before the final featured a much-maligned Senderos in the middle and Flamini at left back. I’d dearly like to see this lot find some of that form in the league. All it needs is a bit of that siege mentality to get everyone working together – look at Hull.

In hindsight you’ve got to say that was as important as any part of Flamini’s departure – he’d been through the fire already, and knew what the team were capable of. Denilson, for all his promise, has not had that kind of baptism. Perhaps something can be forged from the current turmoil. We desperately need to stop teams thinking they’re going to get a result against us – ironic perhaps but this won’t be such an issue against United, who probably always feel they can beat us.

Lots to ponder, anyway. Weekend is the big one but wouldn’t it be nice to polish off the qualifying round at this stage? Particularly with the injuries from the weekend I’m sure Arsene would like to be able to rest the likes of Cesc and Clichy over the next month. Van Persie has rested himself of course, the muppet – a shame, as he was very effective against spurs and seemed to be getting into the kind of form we know he’s capable of.

A late one today, since I only just woke up and I feel like someone poured the bottom of the frying pan into my head. This may or may not have something to do with the ‘pork challenge’ I set myself last night, I’ve never had a brown sauce hangover before, and it’s not good.

As the fallout from Wednesday gradually quietens it’s all the more important that we get the full three points from Stoke today. I don’t think it’ll be easy: after the way we conceded against Spurs lots of teams will see us as a chance to cause an upset.

Fortunately LeGal is almost certainly out with a dicky hamstring, which means that Kolo has the chance to step up and take charge in his big, loveable Ivorian way. He’s been a bit quiet for too long now, I’d love to see him grab the team about its soft underbelly and punch it until it becomes tough and strong, like the bit in Fight Club where Ed Norton becomes tough and strong from being punched and doing sit ups.

Hopefully the various fallouts and arguments from Wednesday will have made some people cross, particularly Cesc, who I would dearly love to see get cross this season. Do you remember the olden days when Thierry Henry would get cross and then score three goals against Liverpool without really thinking about it? Those were good days.

Still, in these tough financial climate© we all have to get used to fewer goals. Ideally fewer goals coming in, as well as going out. I’d take a gritty one-nil today, maybe even more than a flowing six or seven. I think a gritty one-nil might remind the players that they can win gritty matches one-nil. That would be great.

Have a good Saturday.